Playground Shenanigans

Adam is now 4. For the first time today in nursery I saw the evidence of the horrid sort of playground antics children are so famous for.

I dropped the boys off. Luke trotted in to his class quite happily and was last seen being embraced by 3 different girls and trying to look cool (my son, the heart throb - really must make sure he grows up to be nice to girls).

Adam also trotted in quite happily and perked up even more when he saw that his best friend in his class, Aid, was there today. He rushed over and went to sit next to Aid. Aid put his hand out and shooed Adam away. I last saw Adam with a wounded expression, sitting on his own, rejection flowing from every slumped shoulder, hands on chin and his back towards the rest of the class stance.

Resisting every bone in my body that said 'get in there, give that Aid a good talking to and make him let Adam sit next to him' which would obviously do no good at all, I had a quick word with the teacher and then left.

I've been thinking about him all morning. Children can be ever so nasty, and as parents the best we can do is to help them to deal with it. The additional dollop of guilt for me comes because I worry that he is being shunned because he doesn't speak Bosnian and the children are getting bored of his attempts to learn. So Adam not only has to deal with learning about playground shenanigans, but he has to do it in another language and culture. He is a shy and sensitive boy in any culture and every now and then I get a real glimpse of how hard our Bosnian adventure must be for him.

Anyway, 10 mintues to go before I go and pick them up. I'm hoping hoping hoping that everything will have been forgotten, Adam and Aid will have had a terrific time playing spiderman outside, laughing and shouting and that noone except me will even remember the way the morning started.


update

After three hours of maternal fretting, I arrived to find Adam laughing, racing around and obviously having a whale of a time, utterly oblivous to the guilt ridden angsty mother who'd spent the morning chewing her nails, occasionally a bit teary and questioning what we are doing here. He and Aid had been best friends from about 10 minutes after I left.

Children. They have no idea of how much their parents worry about them. I'm making a mental note to say a big thank you (and apologise) to my own mother for anything similar I put her through in the past.

compliminsult

Adam appeared at full speed from nursery yesterday full of news.

- Mummy, mummy - I did a painting today. I used lots of colours. It was a monster.

Brilliant. Adam isn't always keen to get involved with the painting, drawing, crafty side of things. He's more of a kicking ball, running fast, climbing anything kind of kid. The nursery is obviously starting to really draw him into all their activities.

- I made it specially like you. It's a Mummy monster

Instantly I feel flattered. Most pictures made by my two are of Daddy. I'm calling the latest bunch of their pictures 'The Daddy Series'. We have Daddy, Daddy's Leg, Daddy's Head and most bizarrely, Daddy in the swimming pool x 2 all hanging up around the house at the moment. Daddy is obviously thrilled. I was just starting to feel a little put out that there were none of Mummy in the swimming pool or Mummy doing anything much.

- It's a picture just like you.

Now I'm feeling pretty touched, damp eyed almost. A picture of me! By my son! This is a first, he hasn't ever drawn a picture of me before. OK, it's a monster picture, but I'm pretty pleased with that.

- I did it for specially for you

more melting and gooeyness

- It's got a big tummy and huge ears

??***!!!

OK so I haven't been to the gym for a very long time and the old running shoes ain't seen much action recently, but my tummy isn't that big, is it? And big ears? Where did that one come from. Been trying to check out my reflection in the mirror ever since.



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lost in translation

This morning, at nursery, a classic case of things just not translating very well.

I dropped Luke off first with a cuddle, a kiss and as he was steaming off into the classroom, looking around for who to play with, I said to the teacher in English: 'Here comes Trouble!'

She looked horrified, then worried. 'He isn't trouble!'

Already regretting my choice of words the conversation continued in a mixture of Bosnian and English as I tried to reassure her: 'no no no - it's affectionate. It isn't a bad thing to say!'

'He doesn't have trouble at nursery. He loves it here'

'I know, I know! He must love it here, he looks so happy and is having such fun' (Luke at this point has got hold of a car and with one hand is merrily bashing it on the table making a right old racket whilst stuffing his face with his second breakfast of the day with the other).

'he is always having kisses and cuddles with me and the other teacher and look at all his friends, Toni, Amila. He hasn't got any trouble here'

Really regretting my choice of words now, I try to explain that it doesn't mean anything bad. In fact it actually is a good thing because it means he is confident enough to be a bit naughty which is what toddlers should be.

'so why did you say he was trouble?'

'It's a phrase we use in English, it doesn't mean what it says. It is a good thing.' (Luke by now smearing his breakfast over his hair and starting on his neighbours breakfast)

'Are you having trouble outside of nursery? Any problems with people? You must tell us if you are'

I go back to basics. 'Luke loves the nursery here, he is very happy. I think I just used a phrase that doesn't translate well in Bosnian. He is a very happy boy here and I can see that. I'm sorry for any confusion caused.' (Luke now smearing breakfast over the cupboards and looking every inch a very cheeky toddler who is looking to create all sorts of havoc, which is exactly what a toddler his age should be doing and does show that he is comfortable, happy and confident at nursery).

He isn't trouble. He doesn't have any trouble. He is happy here.

And so on. We went round in circles for a while. I don't think we fully cleared it up. I'm now horrified that they now think that I don't like the nursery, which couldn't be further from the truth. I checked with a translator friend of mine - Bosnian doesn't have an equivalent phrase with the same meaning behind it. In other words, it just doesn't translate.

I think in future I should stick to the simple phrases that mean what they say.

starting to talk

Having just written a post about how the boys are adapting to life in a different language (see post here), it is obvious that this week would be one of great change, particularly for Adam. He has now settled into nursery, trots off quite happily when I drop him off and is full of whose hand he held that day when he comes home, Ema and Melissa being the real favourites. But he hadn't really started communicating with anyone in Bosnian. His teachers said that he talks to the other kids in English and they talk to him in Bosnian. The children all seem to be quite happy with this arrangement and appear to understand each other no problem.

But then this week, I suddenly started to hear him saying more Bosnian words. When his friend, Edo, came round to play I heard Adam say Moje (mine), Pazi (careful) and ovdje (here). Then he started to correct our pronunciation (he does have a point there, it is dreadful). Then the teachers said that he was saying some Bosnian words to the other children in his class.

People overestimate the powers of children to pick up new languages. It is difficult for them and it doesn't happen overnight, particularly if the children are shy. Adam has been in nursery every morning now for nearly 5 months and spent the time laying down the foundations for learning a new language, but it is only now that we can see any audible signs that he is learning Bosnian. I'm incredibly proud of him and looking forward to watching his progress over the next few months.

In the meantime I also heard Edo shouting 'come on!' and 'lets go!' so it looks as if Adam's ambition to teach all the children English is also progressing nicely.

different ways of learning

Just starting now to really see some of the differences in the educational system between Britain and Bosnia. I was talking to Adam's teacher yesterday who said that Adam wasn't very good at colouring in. Seems that he just doesn't want to colour in, stick collages, whatever - between the lines. I looked at all the pictures by other children stuck up around the nursery and sure enough they were all beautifully executed with not a mark, not a sticky piece of cotton wool, not a piece of glitter outside of the lines.

Now, I'm no expert in English nursery approaches, but I can't remember Adam ever being asked to do anything between the lines. I'm pretty sure that they took the approach that the child should create whatever he wanted, they viewed colouring in between the lines as limiting their creativity - or something like that. Anyway, Adam has obviously taken the decision not to be constrained by lines and draws his own thing, ignoring whatever car, sheep, cloud is on the paper underneath his efforts.

I feel that this is a difference which will continue throughout the educational system. The British system is about developing a child's creativity and the Bosnian system is, as I understand it, more about learning the facts by rote. This is something that we shall have to bear in mind when thinking about moving the boys between systems.

becoming bilingual?

I've been meaning to write a post for a while about the boys and how they are coping with learning a second language. It is obviously a gradual process which means that there is not often an event about which I can write here. Now we have been here for 6 months (6 months!) and the boys have been in nursery for 4, I feel that I can sit back and take stock.

Many people, Bosnian and English, said on our arrival that children are like sponges with language and that they would pick it up no problem and even that they'll be fluent by Christmas. Obviously that is not entirely true. Children do have more of an ear for languages, and they will have a far better accent than we will ever manage, but that doesn't necessarily make the process of learning a new language any easier.

With two very different children, at two different levels of speaking ability, we are finding that we are watching two different routes to learning Bosnian.

Luke joined nursery at 20 months with a few words of English, really only intelligible to his adoring parents. He's quite a robust lad, and after a little trouble settling in has totally adapted to nursery life. His English language has improved enormously over the last few months - as you would expect as a toddler approaches 2. This is a relief to us as we did worry that introducing him to another language would affect his ability to learn English. I talked to his teachers yesterday about how much Bosnian he has learnt. They were unsure. They are pretty sure that he understands them and can certainly follow basic commands in Bosnian. But he doesn't really say anything, although he will mimic back to them what they have just said. He's quite happy to give it a go and enjoys the pleasure with which his attempts to talk Bosnian brings.

Adam, is a different soul. At 3 1/2, is a shy lad. He has never been one to put himself forward or rush to join in. He has always been happier on the outskirts of the group until he knows everyone well. In English he has always been able to express himself pretty well, with a pretty wide vocabulary and full sentences. He found nursery far more difficult to adapt to than Luke. He went from being fully understood and a part of a gang of mates at his old nursery to being the outsider, whom noone understands. It has taken a while but I think he is fully settled there now, but I'm not sure how much he actually enjoys it there. His teachers also say that he understands basic commands in Bosnian, but that he doesn't speak it at all. Not a word. He talks to the other children in English and they talk to him in Bosnian, and they all seem quite happy about that. He is not one to give it a go. Won't speak even words that we know he knows. We don't push him, he can speak or not speak as he wants to. He has also developed his own made up language, full of random sounds. Apparently this is a common path to learning a second language, in theory this means he is practising the sounds of the new language in preparation for the next stage of starting to talk it. We shall see.

That said, I do listen to my two talking between themselves and hear the odd Bosnian word creeping in. Most obviously, like all true toddlers Nemoj! Necu! Ne! (Don't, Won't and No). Also I've heard them say polako, ovdje, gore (careful, here, up) and other such words. Research seems to suggest that they won't really start to talk Bosnian until they have been at nursery for about 6 months, possibly longer.

So, they are learning. It isn't easy for them. And I can't imagine what it must be like to spend 3 hours a day in an environment where I don't understand what is going on. But I think, after nearly 4 months at nursery, they have done the hard part.

And just in case I was worrying that Adam doesn't talk to any of the children at nursery, new evidence proves that he does. We went to the smart supermarket the other day, the Waitrose of Tuzla. Halfway down the coffee aisle, he suddenly stopped and shouted really loudly, and in Bosnian, F**K! He didn't learn that from the teachers.

For anyone interested in looking at some research written by people who are far more qualified than me to talk about this type of stuff some good places to start are here and here.

potty training...

It's back to life back to reality for the kids as they were officially classed well enough to go back to nursery, leaving me with a packet of tylolhot and some ibuprofen to get through the morning.

For Luke this means a restarting to potty training. Now he is 2 the Bosnians believe that he is more than ready to use the potty, so at nursery that is what he does. They are right, he probably is ready to start potty training. The thing is, I'm not. It is so much more difficult to do during the winter. Dealing with accidents is not too bad during the summer, but not feasible on a winter time dog walk with 2 pairs of trousers and some waterproofs on as well.

However, potty training has started at nursery, and I need to reinforce the lessons being taught, so potty training we must go. I will have to adapt to a more gradual training process than the from today there are to be no more nappies ever process I used with Adam (British Mummys won't be surprised to know that this is a Gina Ford recommendation). But it is a process that must be gone through and I am not particularly looking forward to it.

The Legend of Lukey

Luke reached the grand old age of 2 yesterday. Only 2 - it feels like he has been around for much longer (that may be to do with his disincilination to sleep). Full toddlerdom awaits us and I feel he will embrace the terrible twos with enthusiasm. He is a sweet little boy, loud, rumbunctious, stubborn, charming and a real one for an audience. He does exactly what he wants to do. On a walk, he will decide he wants to go back to the car and set off, without looking back or stopping and with or without the rest of us. Luke has taken to Bosnian life with enthusiasm. He likes nursery, he likes the food there and he is loved by the Bosnians who are charmed by his attempts to speak Bosnian and penchant for blowing kisses.

We had a small party for him on Sunday. I made a cake (which tragically collapsed, I have yet to get to grips with the different types of Bosnian flour, and am still trying to work out what might constitute self-raising flour, which most my cake recipes call for). Still the 15 or so people who came round sang Happy Birthday and gamely ate the stodge.

The tradition is that you take a cake to nursery on the day of your child's birthday. I'm quite happy to submit my friends to my baking attempts, but thought better of public humiliation at nursery so I asked Tanja, our lovely cleaner, if she would mind doing the honours. The cake appeared, the biggest cake I have ever seen, resplendent with Bob the Builder on top.

Bosnian cakes are quite different to the British ones, lots of layers and cream and coconut flakes. I have to say, I'm not the biggest fan. But the Bob the Builder cake was greeted with delight at nursery and none of it was left at the end of the day. The nursery did a really great job of making his birthday special - they sang Happy Birthday in English and Bosnian, danced dances and generally had a right old party. He won't remember it, but I do feel he had a pretty decent birthday.

Viruses and snow part 2

Kept both boys away from nursery in responsible adult way today. Thought their temps were up and had potential to go higher. Got prepared for day of fevered brow mopping, nursing and medicinal administration.

They are running around like banshees, destroying the house (and each other) and running me ragged. They are so going to nursery tomorrow.

to nap or not to nap

The force of nature that is my nearly two year old, Lukey, has decided that napping in the afternoons is not for him. Words cannot describe the horror with which I face this latest development.

Our routine had been fairly well established. The boys go to nursery, I pick them up about 12 (just as all the Bosnian toddlers are settling down for their naps), we take the dog for a walk and I run the boys around and up and down as many hills as I can find to wear them out. On the drive back home Luke goes to sleep in the back of the car and is smoothly transferred to a bed on our return. Adam and I can then get down to the serious business of discussing the morning over an Orangina.

Luke has been sleeping for up to 2 hours. This gives me plenty of time to have a look at the English nursery curriculum and do an activity with Adam; painting, sticking, his scrapbook, jigsaws, a quick game of snap - all that sort of stuff. I do it because we enjoy it, but also to ensure that Adam is on a par with his English contemporaries and hoping that it will ease any return to the English educational system transitions in the future. Also, I really do enjoy the one on one time with him - this is when I find out what he is thinking.

All of this is far more difficult to do when there is a marauding and slightly tired Lukey on the prowl. As ever, it is the change in the routine which is proving to be stressful and until we all adapt to this new afternoon regime and Luke learns that you can't throw paint at the walls, we are in for a tense couple of weeks.

A very important activity

There are signs that Adam is starting to settle into and, whisper it quietly, even enjoy nursery. He has made a few friends, despite no common language and talks a lot of Ema and Aid.

I'm not totally sure what they do all morning. Most days I ask him if he did any painting today and he always says 'no' but I've seen his paintings pinned up on the wall. Sometimes he says they do singing and dancing, but in general I never quite manage to find out what exactly he has been up to.

Yesterday I asked him, as usual, what he had done. Once I had gone through all the obvious activities he looked at me and said, "No Mummy, today we did laughing".

Seems to me that that is an excellent way of spending your morning.

Hmmmm

Adam came back from nursery the other day with a spring in his step.

"Mummy," he said, "I'm going to be really good at nursery."

"That's a good idea" says I, feeling pleased that he seems to be feeling more comfortable there. I can see that he is starting to make friends and he even told me proudly that he held Ema's hand yesterday.

Before I could say anything else he continued:

"but I'm going to be really naughty at home".

Looking forward to this one...

cultural sleeping differences

There are a lot of cultural differences between the UK and Bosnia, particularly around children. The one that I am noticing the most is bedtime/naptime. I've always sought to get my boys to bed and asleep by about 7.30. The reality is more like 8 and if I'm really off my game it can go as late as 8.3o. But that is about as late as it gets. Ever.

Here children don't seem to go to bed until their parents do. This is, I know, a very European tradition and it is the UK that is out of kilter with the rest of the continent. But I like having the evenings free to do my own stuff in some form of peace and quiet, so don't really want to change. However, friends with appropriately aged children keep asking if I want to meet them at the play centre at 8pm. I'm rapidly realising that if I want some form of child company during the week, it will have to be during the evenings. The weekends are looking like a much better alternative.

The flip side of this is that the Bosnian children continue to have a good 2 hour nap during the day right up until they go to school. This does mean that the Bosnian Mummies get a break during the day, but I'm on duty from the moment I get up until the moment I get them into bed (nursery notwithstanding) as Adam hasn't slept during the day for almost a year now.

Most of the time this difference in sleeping habits doesn't matter at all. However, I was slightly late in picking up the boys from nursery yesterday and found Adam in tears. The other children were all lying down for their sleep and he most definitely didn't think that he had to have one. The nursery staff do believe that children of his age should have a nap so were trying to persuade him to do so.

So, although I have paid for nursery until 1.30pm each day, I shall continue to pick them up at 12 as this appears to be the only way I can hold onto my English sleeping routine and maintain peace and harmony at nursery.

nursery games

Stop press. End of Week 2 at nursery. Adam came home from nursery and announced "I like my Bosnian nursery Mummy". When I picked him up there were 2 boys fighting over who would be the one to hold his hand as the class walked in the crocodile queue to lunch. Adam presided serenely over the chaos before magnanimously trying to hold both their hands. I think he is enjoying the interest created by being a bit different. There are no more tears on being dropped off, even a smile and a wave. Long may it last, but so far, so good.

Lukey on the other hand is playing the nursery staff like a seasoned pro. Never one to pass up an opportunity to create a mountain out of a rather small mole hill, he starts wailing as we approach the school. The howls continue right up until the moment that the door shuts whereupon he gets up and scurries off to find his favourite digger, leaving me wanting to open the door and say "I can still hear you, young man!". He has also worked out that if he turns his little nose up at the good healthy food served up for lunch, he can usually persuade someone to be worried about him going hungry enough to find him a bit of cake. "This", thinks Lukey, "is more like it. None of this cabbage soup for me." He's now trying this game at home, with very different results.

Que?

After a weekend break it is back into the nursery maelstrom. Neither are leaping up and down with enthusiasm at the prospect of a morning in nursery. Luke starts crying as we turn the corner and is fully howling by the time I actually deposit him into the arms of the teacher (the lovely Faheda). Adam does his best to soothe him: I heard this from the backseat today

"Don't worry Lukey, it is only for a little bit. Mummy will be back soon." Once Luke was safely inside his classroom Adam turned to me and said "please Mummy, don't drop me off". Apart from hitting my heart strings exactly where it hurts, I had to admire his ingenuity in waiting for his brother to be out of the way before attempting his own salvation.

When I pick them up they are inevitably playing quite happily and the staff tell me that they have had good days. Adam, it turns out, has asked every child in his class whether they speak English, which I see to be exhibiting good problem solving initiative. I think that they will be ok. There would be a certain amount of upset at any new nursery, and so far their experiences seem to fall within that parameter. With luck they will get used to their new regime and begin absorbing some of this new language that is surrounding them. I'm still keeping a close eye on them though.

Nursery talk

And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't have to detach a child from each leg and then run, leaving them howling as their mother deserted them (which was worrying me all night). I did leave them howling but the nursery called to say that they had stopped and were starting to settle nicely. When I turned up to pick them up after 2 hours they were both playing quite happily. Adam said that he had cried a lot but then he was alright and Lukey had cried alot too. That was to be expected, they would have cried at any new nursery. I felt quite cheerful about the whole event.

Then I made a mistake and decided to do some research about the effects on pre-school children placed in a nursery which doesn't speak their mother tongue (my aspirations to forward thinking and planning remain firmly in the aspirations phase). Having not really thought too much about the process of young children learning a second language, I had merrily just assumed that it, sort of, just happened. Which it does, sort of, but with a number of other developmental issues attached. One of which stood out from all the others: apparently it is common for a child to go completely silent for a period of time of UP TO A YEAR as they assimilate the new language (link to article here). Needless to say this has freaked me somewhat. More deep breaths and a glass of wine as I assimilate that fact.

In the meantime they are due back in to the nursery again for another 2 hours tomorrow. The staff are doing their best to help the boys settle in. We shall just have to see. One day in it seems to be going ok. Tomorrow, as they say, is another day.

bilingualism?

Everyone says that kids pick up languages really fast. A couple of months they say and you'll be using them as your translators.

So far Adam has failed to see why it might be remotely useful to speak Bosnian at all. He won't say 'dobar dan' or 'hvala' (good day or thankyou) to anyone even though he can. The times he has been playing with Bosnian children they haven't communicated in anyway apart from shouting really loud.

They both start nursery tomorrow. Adam and I were talking about it earlier. He says that he doesn't want to go even though there will be children there to play with. When I asked him why he said it was because the Bosnian children don't speak English. I said that he would have to learn Bosnian (like Mummy and Daddy are) and he said that he didn't think he would.

We are in for an interesting time. I'm clinging to the hope that everyone else is right.

It's nursery time...

After weeks of dithering I've actually done it. Today I took the boys to a nursery and signed on the dotted line. They will go for 3 mornings a week, possibly more depending on how it goes. It is going to be pretty ugly for a while, especially as we're taking the sink or swim tactic and are not going to attempt to ease them in. They can both be shy and will certainly howl the place down on their first morning but hopefully... hopefully they will soon adapt and start to enjoy themselves playing with all the other children.

It has taken quite a bit of a cultural head change for me to get used to the idea of a Bosnian nursery. The classes seem so big. There don't seem to be very many adults around. I can't understand how they are going to undertake activities like painting, sticking and all those other lovely things that nurseries do. They don't seem to have very much equipment.

BUT, but but but but but. It seems to all work. I've been to see a lot of nurseries at all times of the day, usually unannounced, and I have only ever seen classes of beautifully behaved children having a great time. There isn't much equipment but the children play very creatively with what is available. I have no idea if they will do as much in the way of activities as in their English nursery, but I can easily do that kind of stuff in the afternoons, and with the Bosnian winter upon us indoor play is most definitely on the agenda.

So (deep breath) the boys (deep breath) will start nursery (deep breath) in October.

summertime nurseries

When we first talked about moving to Bosnia I envisaged getting a nanny for the boys. The more I think about it now the less attractive that option comes. Firstly, and most importantly, I think that Adam, at 3 1/4 needs to have other children of his own age around him. Although Luke is starting to be more of a playmate, there is still quite a big discrepancy between them. Second, I do worry that having a nanny or even someone who came round everyday would send me into complete nervous meltdown about how untidy/chaotic the house is and I would probably end up staying up all night trying to tidy some of the chaos up before they came round. At least this way the house retains its atmosphere of total happy mayhem that was so prevalent in the UK.

Anyhow, having decided on nurseries I have been exploring the options. Turns out that August isn't such a great time as in the whole of Tuzla only 4 nurseries are open. These are all state run and absolutely ENORMOUS. Admittedly the boy's English nursery was tiny (16 children total) so I was always going to be in for a culture shock on this one, but these nurseries each have 10 groups of 15 children. Each group has 2 members of staff which is about half the number you would expect in a UK nursery - although both must be qualified, one as a teacher the other as a nurse.

Cue more twirling around by me about a non Bosnian speaking Adam in a nursery of this size. I'm sure the Bosnians think I am being very precious about this, noone else seems to find it strange at all.

So, instead I am putting all my eggs in one basket and hoping that the private nurseries, which reopen in Sept will be smaller and more intimate. And, equally as crucially, that they will accept non-potty trained Lukey. The only issue with this tactic (barring the fact that there is no plan B and that I may have to take on the Lukey potty training gauntlet at a very early age which will be extremely ugly) is that these nurseries shut for the whole of July AND August. I thought I was unlucky in the UK when my nursery shut for August (a fellow Mother's Union member and I would get very jittery mid July as the holidays loomed). Two whole months? What do all the people with proper jobs do? I might still need a plan B.

Tomica Tank Engine

I've always said that I wanted to the boys to go to a Bosnian speaking nursery as this is an amazing opportunity for them to learn a second language at a very young age. This won't be too much of a problem for Luke who at 19 months is a long way off conversational ability. Adam, however, is fairly chatty and able to communicate pretty well both with adults and other children. He is also very shy with people who he doesn't know and in unfamiliar situations.

Now that actually dropping the boys off into an all Bosnian speaking nursery looms ever nearer I am starting to fret. I'm pretty sure that Luke, after an initial protest, will be fine and will flourish. I am worried that, unable to communicate with the teachers and his peers, Adam will hate nursery and retreat further into his shell in unfamiliar situations.

Tuzla is not the sort of city that has English speaking nurseries - the international community are much reduced as the area recovers from the conflict which finished over a decade ago, and most internationals who were here don't have children of nursery age anyhow. So, if I want the boys to go to nursery it has to be Bosnian. I have spoken to nurseries in the UK which have experience of teaching children who don't speak English, and they said that after a few months the children have learnt to communicate. But as I sit here sipping my wine and typing away, a few months seems like quite a long time.

In an attempt to start to familiarise them with the language, we strolled into town the other day and bought Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends DVD in Bosnian. With CBeebies unavailable in Bosnia, the boys have enthusiastically embraced Tomica & Prijatelji demanding it over and over again. They don't appear to have realised that it is not in English, or at least it hasn't diminished their enjoyment of it one bit. A small part of me is hoping that I am worrying about nothing.