Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Playground Shenanigans

Adam is now 4. For the first time today in nursery I saw the evidence of the horrid sort of playground antics children are so famous for.

I dropped the boys off. Luke trotted in to his class quite happily and was last seen being embraced by 3 different girls and trying to look cool (my son, the heart throb - really must make sure he grows up to be nice to girls).

Adam also trotted in quite happily and perked up even more when he saw that his best friend in his class, Aid, was there today. He rushed over and went to sit next to Aid. Aid put his hand out and shooed Adam away. I last saw Adam with a wounded expression, sitting on his own, rejection flowing from every slumped shoulder, hands on chin and his back towards the rest of the class stance.

Resisting every bone in my body that said 'get in there, give that Aid a good talking to and make him let Adam sit next to him' which would obviously do no good at all, I had a quick word with the teacher and then left.

I've been thinking about him all morning. Children can be ever so nasty, and as parents the best we can do is to help them to deal with it. The additional dollop of guilt for me comes because I worry that he is being shunned because he doesn't speak Bosnian and the children are getting bored of his attempts to learn. So Adam not only has to deal with learning about playground shenanigans, but he has to do it in another language and culture. He is a shy and sensitive boy in any culture and every now and then I get a real glimpse of how hard our Bosnian adventure must be for him.

Anyway, 10 mintues to go before I go and pick them up. I'm hoping hoping hoping that everything will have been forgotten, Adam and Aid will have had a terrific time playing spiderman outside, laughing and shouting and that noone except me will even remember the way the morning started.


update

After three hours of maternal fretting, I arrived to find Adam laughing, racing around and obviously having a whale of a time, utterly oblivous to the guilt ridden angsty mother who'd spent the morning chewing her nails, occasionally a bit teary and questioning what we are doing here. He and Aid had been best friends from about 10 minutes after I left.

Children. They have no idea of how much their parents worry about them. I'm making a mental note to say a big thank you (and apologise) to my own mother for anything similar I put her through in the past.

14 comments:

Mum Gone Mad said...

I am so pleased he was having a fun time when you picked him up. It's a nightmare being a mummy... we just want to look after them all the time but it's not possible :(

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

My baby isn't born yet but I can imagine you felt GUTTED. What a terrible thing to witness, I'm afraid I would have taken my kid HOME for the day and gave him ice cream. (obviously the wrong thing to do but hey)

I'm glad he turned out happy and fine, he's well adjusted, congrats on that!

Mwa said...

Oh, I've been there times a hundred. If only there was a way to learn from that kind of situation, but no. I get worried and anxious every time.

Glad it all worked out.

ck said...

I went through the same thing this morning. Two of my daughter's friends from school were at the park today and decided not to let her play with them. I stood back until she asked me for help. Even then I was really careful of what I said, basically just prompting her on how to get herself in there. Two minutes later they were all playing together. But I'm still feeling a little ill over it...

Nicola said...

I go through the same thing! It's a great reminder of how resilient kids are and how they bounce back so quickly. I think this is really true of boys too - they really don't seem to hold grudges or be out of sorts with each other for long. Glad your little one was okay - and sorry that you had such a crap day worrying about it.

Tattie Weasle said...

Brought tears to my eyes - how often I have been there and worryng about it until I pick them up again soumds liek a familiar mantra fro all of us! I wonder if our Mums felt the same...
PS. Glad he was Ok ion the end!

Anonymous said...

Oh heck. Now I'm even more worried about boy1 starting school in two weeks time. He'll be fine, I'll be in floods. New parents are invited to coffee in the main hall, which I'm sure I'll do so that I can saunter past his classroom afterwards, just to check he isn't being pinned down by bullies. Adam sounds a sweetie, and he'll be a whizz at languages after this early immersion. Foreign correspondent/diplomat of the future, methinks!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

MGM - just so awful to not be able to protect them from all horrid things.

Gringa - Totally gutted. I might have even had a little tear. But he was happy as a sandboy when I picked him up.

Mwa - first of many I guess. I'd better get used to it. It stymied all my attempts to do anything useful whilst they were at nursery!

ck - guess we need to work out how to get used to it. Made me feel ever so low for most of the day!

Nicola - He was fine, and I think boys are a bit different. Here's hoping we don't have too many more of them!

TW - just spoke to my Mum. She said she always felt the same and it never gets any better!

Anon - I know I will be in floods when Adam starts school. That face, being so brave and all. Howl howl. He will be a UN negotiator or on The Apprentice when he grows up though, he is starting now - I say one biscuit and he says how about 2? Always pushing for that little bit more. Tiring to say the least! Good luck for Boy1.

Metropolitan Mum said...

Whenever I see children being bossed around by other children, or whenever I cross this bully-ish neighbour's daughter, I hope and pray for little L to be missed out by kids like these. Although I know that the ones I had to overcome only made me stronger in the end.

Josie @Sleep is for the Weak said...

Phew! Glad all was ok. It must be so hard to step back and let them get on with things. I know I'm proabably going to be a horrible meddler when we get to that stage - I'll be so desperate for him to make friends! Luckily the most I have to worry about at the mo is another toddler pinching Kai's toy and making him cry.

Sounds like your boys are doing brilliantly! :-)

Half Mum Half Biscuit said...

I feel for you. It's so difficult to know what to do for the best sometimes. I wish I could find the instruction book that came with my son - then life would be so much easier!

Muddling Along Mummy said...

I'm glad he was ok and hope you will be - someone recently described parenting to me as continuous low level anxiety sporadically punctuated by moments of intense angst ...

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

MM - life gets us all in the end. I think it is one of the parents tragedies that we can't protect our brood from nasty things that happen. This was nothing, worse will come and it will break my heart!

Josie - So am I. Adam always had his toys pinched as a toddler. Luke, on the other hand, is a toy pincher. Guess we'll have a whole different set of issues with him!

HMHB - an instruction book would be amazing. Sigh.

MAM - I think they have hit the nail on the head there!

Chocolat A Toi said...

I felt so much for you and more so Adam. Glad, it has a happy ending. But it does continue isn't it? right up to the work place. Lots of cliques etc.