Monday, 31 August 2009

Things said this weekend

- The weather forecast is great for today. I know, lets go on a day trip this weekend.

- Have we got the map with us?

- Everyone in? Lets go!

- What do you mean you want to do a poo? What, now? Why didn't you do when when I asked you 5 minutes ago before we left the house?

- Where are we?

- Where are we supposed to be going?

- Ok, lets go to Brcko (pronounced Birchko). We haven't been there before.

(When they signed the peace agreement to stop the war they split Bosnia into 2 entites, the Republika Srpska and the Federation. However, both sides wanted Brcko to be in their entity so badly that they basically had to say that because they couldn't agree who would have it then neither side could, confirming my suspicion that high level political negotiating is not that different to dealing with toddlers. They did the equivalent of putting Brcko up really high on the shelf out of everyone's reach. It has to be said that Brcko probably did pretty well out of the deal, it has its own government and by most economic indicators seems to be doing rather better than the rest of Bosnia.)

- There's a big river in Brcko, Jess could go for a swim.

- It is really hot.

- Look boys. That is the border. Over that river is Croatia. Lets throw some stones in for Jess.

- That fish that just flip flopped in the river was ENORMOUS.

- I don't know why the restaurant has cannons in the garden.

- Luke, put the axe down please.

- Dave, there was a lot of fighting round here in the war. I don't think we should go off the map.

- Lets head home. The sign says that way to Tuzla

- This isn't the way we came.

- The sign definitely said Tuzla this way. Lets give it a go.

- Look at the view! That's amazing. So green and beautiful.

- What is that sign?

- Boys, listen to Mummy very carefully. Do you see this sign? The red one, with a skull and cross bones on it, that looks a bit like a pirate flag but is red? If you ever see that sign, do not ever ever put a single foot off the road. Do you understand me? This sign means that there are mines. Do you know what mines are? Mines are bombs that men have hidden under the ground and when someone steps on them they will explode. Mines kill people. You must never, ever, step off the road if you see a sign like that.

- What do you mean you need a wee?

- Nearly home now. Is that the police ahead?

- Looks like there's been an accident, we'd better find another route. Let's try going left.

- I know this road isn't tarmacked, but it is marked on the map. There isn't another way to get around.

- The man on the tractor said we were going the right way. We must have faith. Let's keep going and hope for the best. I know we haven't seen a house in about half an hour.

- It's looking pretty dark over there

- WOW! Did you see that lightening?

- Asphalt. Phew. I think it is really going to pour and don't fancy driving on the dirt track in the rain much.

- Rain? This isn't rain! This is someone throwing a bucket at the car.

- There's a river in the road. It is flowing faster than we are driving.

- Home! Home home home. Never have I been so pleased to see you.

- You enjoyed the adventure? You want to do it next weekend? Are you quite sure?

- Darling, I think we've got two adrenaline junkie sons on our hands.


Mummy Do That, a German living in Glasgow, has put together a Bilingual Childrens Carnival. I strongly advise anyone thinking of bringing up children bilingually to head on over there for a read. There are problems, stories and support for parents of children trying to get their heads around two languages. This carnival will be a monthly affair so any contributions from other parents of bilingual (or not so bilingual as the case may be) would be very welcome.

Must be carnival season, as the Best of British Mummy Bloggers Carnival is up and ready to go over at ClareyBabble - so many new blogs are included. I'll be up all night having a good old read.


Very Bored Housewife said...

Very funny, although I'm sure it wasn't at the time, glad you all arrived home safely. VBH

Pippa said...

And now you have let me get my excitement through you I shan't have to leave the house today!

The wife of bold said...

"high level political negotiating is not that different to dealing with toddlers" - see us mums could solve world peace! Sounds very scary though glad your all still in one piece :)

The Green Stone Woman said...

That sounds more complicated than I want my day to be, weekend or not. I'll always stick to the asphalt. I'm very suspicious of dirt roads, Very often they have pot holes that the car's front wheels disappear into.

nappy valley girl said...

You know that when you eventually get back to the UK, life will seem a little boring in comparison...?

Mwa said...

The mines - just a touch scary then when you have kids.

ck said...

Oh my goodness.

"Luke, put the axe down please" made me laugh and "This sign means that there are mines," made me gasp. Still a little dizzy from it.

Even though you clearly made it home since you wrote about it, I was still relieved to read it.

What a weekend...

Mummy said...

I remember those signs from my teens when I was travelling in the Middle East and saw them in the Golan Heights. It was the most beautiful place (aside from the odd shell marked mosque). That makes my little adventures in China seem rather tame!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

VBH - at the time we just kept muttering 'think of the stories, think of the stories!'

Pippa - I'm not leaving the house today either! Enough excitement to last me a week.

WoB - I tell you, they need to get in a room full of toddlers, learn how to sort it out and then they will be well trained for their real jobs.

GSW - it's a good rule. One I try to follow whenever I can!

NVG - maybe, but there'll be tea and marmite and decent playgrounds. I think the kids will find it much more exciting!

Mwa - mines are very scary. We don't live in a mined area, I don't know how the people who do manage it. Even if it had been cleared I'm not sure I'd totally be confident that they had got ALL of them. Such a shame the mines, ruined the country for decades.

ck - The axe comment was my favourite too. All in one day as well. I'm not leaving home again for a while!

Mummy - the mines are such a shame. Ruins the country for decades after. I'm so pleased we live in an area which wasn't mined at all.

Josie @Sleep is for the Weak said...

Wow that sounds like quite the adventure! I would have liked photos... ;-)

The axe comment was my favourite too. Glad you all made it home safely x

Gringa-n-Mexico said...

Good Heavens to Besty! LAND MINES! Dude you guys are for real brave to travel - but I'm glad you DO, don't let crap bring you down. Too cool (and thank goodness you're safe)

Lorna Harris said...

I feel like I went on the trip with you - I love the way you wrote this in such short sentences but still conveyed the feeling of the trip. What an amazing adventure!

Muddling Along Mummy said...

I love your description of high level political negotiation being like dealing with a toddler - perhaps Mummys need to be empowered to take on the world knottiest problems (and wouldn't it be nice if just putting contentious issues on a high shelf could solve things)

Mamma Po said...

Wow, I read the whole post at break-neck speed, hardly pausing for breath. Was terrified something awful was going to happen (other than coming face to face with a mine warning, getting lost on a dirt track and driving through a thunderstorm). Phew. Glad you all survived intact - and had fun in the process!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Josie - it was an adventure. I'm retiring to bed for the rest of the week to recover. It was a proper axe too.

Gringa - luckily we don't have any landmines around near where we actually live but they do remain a real problem here and definitely stop us from heading off on a walk across the countryside!

LH - glad you liked it!

MAM - Mummys could sort out all the worlds problems. And the high shelf solves a lot of problems with my two so you never know, maybe there is a role for it in UN peace keeping forces. Jerusalem. Noone can have it until you all work out a way to share it nicely...

MammaPo - It was more fun after the adventure. We did find ourselves chanting the Brit family mantra of 'think of the stories after'. I'm still exhausted just thinking about it!

Catharine Withenay said...

This all sounds so familiar from our travels around Zambia (apart from the mines bit ... ) Thank you for bringing a smile to my face!

Big Beluga Baby said...

ha ha Brit in Bosnia, what a fab post. Glad you all made it in one piece (and car too by the sound of it). The stories are great, but will you ever be able to go back to normal life without axes lying around???

Big Beluga Baby said...

H ah ha, I had just read this post and then we went hiking and all came across a radiation sign in the woods outside Almaty, but only AFTER we had been poking around up the hill from where the sign was! agh!

clareybabble said...

Loved this! Sounds like you had a great adventure. Your kids will remember it for years to come :)
And thanks for mentioning the carnival, I know I'm a bit late, sorry!! x

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