Friday, 24 July 2009

Postcards to my family*

Dear Boys,

Please leave my laundry alone. In particular please do not do any of the following:

1. post a felt tip pen into the laundry basket which will then leak bright orange all over my favourite skirt and the only decent white shirt that I have left.
2. Pull over the clothes horse when there is clean drying laundry on it. I know it makes a great den. But I need the laundry clean and dry.
3. Pull it over again when I have already told you not to do it.
4. Throw around clean and dry laundry that is folded ready to be put away.

Thanks for listening to me, I will appreciate it,
Love,
Mummy.

*******

Dear Boys,

If you want to go and play with the sprinkler I think this is a great idea. However, you do need to put on swimming stuff if you are going to get wet. This is not a trauma. Moreover, once your swimming stuff is on, do not to take it off before we even get outside, it just makes me cross, particularly if you then run around laughing dementedly.

Love,
Mummy.

*******
Dear Jess,

I know that you a are retriever and therefore predisposed to pick things up. But, please don't invade the clean laundry pile to do this. In particular please stop taking guests any of my underwear, or take my underwear outside and scatter it in the garden. Please also stop leaving one sock outside, the Bosnian tradition of taking your shoes off means that I do need to pair socks and I can't do this when one is buried in the flower bed.

Thank you,
The one that feeds you.

*******
Dear Boys,

Mummy is not a climbing frame. Really. I also have a really bad back. So, I'm really not joking when I say that I'm not a climbing frame.

Thank you,
Mummy

*********
Dear Boys,

Sometimes I can't do the same conversation more than 10 times in any given 15 minute period. So I apologize if my eyes glaze over and go a bit squiffy. When you are an adult you will understand.

Love,
Mummy.

**********

Dear Dave,

There is no magic fairy who picks up your clothes and puts them in the laundry basket. It is me. I appreciate this may come as a shock. I'm also the fairy who picks up the stuff that has been dumped in the middle of the floor and puts stuff in the rubbish bin.

Your ever loving wife.

*******
Dear Boys,

Cooking is hard. Cooking dinner that you will both eat is even harder. Cooking a dinner that you will both eat whilst at least one of you is whinging, hanging off my leg and the other is waving the wrong end of a mop in my face is near impossible. Managing to stay calm in this situation is never going to happen.

Love,
Mummy.

******
Dear Luke,

Please stop switching all the buttons on the washing machine. It is on its last legs as it is. And I don't think I can take another boil wash with clothes that aren't able to do it.

Love,
Mummy

********
Dear Boys,

I am not as obsessed with laundry as it appears. At least I don't think I am.

Love,
Mummy

*********
Dear Boys,

When I tell you not to do something it is generally because someone is going to get hurt if you carry on. Whilst I appreciate that you need to learn the boundaries and limits, I would prefer it if we didn't need to take trips to the hospital to do so. Also, I'm your Mummy, I love you and I don't want to see you hurt. So, when I say don't do something, don't do it!

Love,
Mummy.

PS - for extra bonus points, it is also best not to look at Mummy whilst doing whatever it is that you have just been told not to do. That will really send me off on a whirling she banshee like rant.

*******
Dear Boys,

Carrying on a theme here, when I say DO something, best to do it. Preferably straight away. Certainly I'd prefer it if I didn't have to ask you 30 times before losing the plot to get you to put your shoes on/clean your teeth/sit down for dinner.

Love,
Mummy

********
Dear Adam,

When you deliberately set out to wind up your brother it has the effect of also winding your mother. Better all round if you don't do it in the first place.

Love,
Mummy

*********

Dear Luke,

If you wake up at 3.30am and insist that Mummy comes to see you and insist that Mummy also stay awake with you until 5.30am then please don't expect Mummy to be happy, bright and full of energy the next day. Particularly if the day is 40C plus. Mummy doesn't get the opportunity to nap in the middle of the day. Best to go back to sleep yourself, 3.30am is the middle of the night whichever way you look at it.

Love,
Your very tired Mummy.

*********
Dear Boys,

I'm sorry if I get very grumpy, cross and shout quite a lot. I honestly do try my best to be a good Mummy. I love you both ever so much, you are both the sweetest, cheekiest, loveliest little boys I know. I wake every morning promising myself that I will and do my very very very best for you, be the best Mummy that I can. Some days I succeed, other days I fail miserably. All I can promise is that every day I will keep trying.

All my love and for all time
Mummy.


**********

Dear Dave,

Thank you for everything you do. Even if I don't mention it at the time every time you cook dinner, come home early to rescue me from insanity, take the boys out for an hour to give me a break and doing their bathtimes pretty much every day I deeply deeply appreciate it. This bringing up children lark is tougher than we thought, but I love that we are doing it together and think we are not doing too badly. It is all the more fun for having you as the partner on the ride.

I love you.

PS - I still mean it about the laundry though. x

**********


*with a big acknowledgement to the amazing Kat at 3 Bedroom Bungalow who has a regular Dear So and So feature that I just love. As an aside she is also running a giveaway to celebrate her blogoversary (terrible word that, or is it just me?) which, unlike most bloggy give aways, has something that I quite like - so if you are looking for some really nice diaper/nappy bags then click here and enter.

20 comments:

Kat said...

I have found that folding and putting away laundry as it comes off the line or out of the dryer is the best way to go. My kids like to tip over baskets of clean laundry as well.

Dancinfairy said...

I really enjoyed reading this post and really feel for you. Love the last few postcards. Men just don't see laundry do they? Mine would go

"Dear Husband, why do you ball your socks together when you take them off and put them in the washing basket? It is bat shit insane as all I do is unball them and put them in the washing machine. Your Wife.

P.S.I will admit that this is better than you leaving them on the front room floor."

Iota said...

Dear Blog

Thanks for being there when I need to rant. Thanks for never answering back or saying "I told you so". Thanks for not holding it against me when I've ignored you for a while. Thanks for never minding my moods. I couldn't manage without you.

Just a thought...

Cammie said...

loves it! I have long been searching for the laundry fairy...if I find her I will let you know. Stopping by from Kat's...

The Laughing Idiot said...

You can come do my laundry. My family avoids it like the plague. They're afraid if they even look at the laundry (clean or dirty), I will ask them to do something with it. Like, heaven forbid, I ask them to take their dirty socks upstairs - the HORROR!

Kathryn said...

I can so relate to just about all of your 'postcards' - and they made me laugh too!! ps and it sounds like you have a great family (dog included of course)

The wife of bold said...

LOVE your postcards!!! I really feel for you and know exactly where your coming from, so funny though to hear it for another mummys perspective - good luck with the laundry. I have piles and piles of it but at least i only have childern saotaging it and not a K9 :)

Krystal said...

Don't get me started on laundry - I have piles laid on my closet floor that need to be folded while I have loads that need to be washed. A hosut of 8 people - 6 of which are messy messy kids - the laundry never stops.

Bless your heart for you seem saner than I

Stopped by from Kat's crib but will be back definately!!

Mwa said...

Yeah, great postcards. I was really feeling bad for you, when I thought "Wait a second, that all happens to me, too." ;-) (Too tired after a day at the zoo with the kids to even put two and two together. Five, right?)

SandyCalico said...

Love it! Those last two bought a tear to my eye. I'm so glad it's not just me who feels like that.
I'm the laundry fairy in my house. It helps that the laundry room is out of bounds from the boys by a system of gates and doors!

Captain Dumbass said...

I'm always partial to the kleenex my youngest always stuffs into one of his pockets. Always the one I don't check.

Grande Poobah said...

Oh honey

I want to give you a very big hug.

I think you are doing an amazing job and I admire you totally for being so brave and determined in chosing your path

x

Who's the Mummy? said...

Dear Brit

Thanks for making me laugh and remember to try and find a way to let Flea know how precious I found her early days.

Also, thanks for the Jess story and reminding me that my chocolate lab Happy used to love to eat the gussets from guests' underwear. Gross but true.

Love

Sally

Mummy said...

Dear Fraught Mummy

Thank you for reminding me that despite being up most of the night due to a late bedtime (my fault) and nightmares (not my fault) I don't actually do the washing anymore.

Do you want to borrow my husband or nanny for a week or two off doing yours?

Yummy Mummy

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Kat - oh, I should, I should.

DF - the old balling the socks together trick. Still doesn't mean there is a pair when the wash is over.

Iota - agreed!

Cammie - lets keep our fingers crossed.

LI - have enough of my own to take on any more!

Kathryn - thanks - although I wonder about the dog sometimes...

WoB - great to know I'm not the only one.

Krystal - piles of clothes in varying states everywhere. All I know is that there isn't enough room to put it all away so even if I was organised there would still be chaos.

Mwa - definitely 5. Possibly 9. Who knows?

CD - that is another postcard to my husband. What a mess that makes!

GP - you are a star! Are you proud about the sock matching? I've moved on from the Brixy days.

WtM? - there is nothing that Jess won't eat apart from lemon peel. I'm not joking.

Mummy - YES!! And don't forget Granny for babysitting duties. x

Muddling Along Mummy said...

Those are fab - have taken to leaving Mr MAM messages to say that the dishwasher doesn't bite using Toddlergirl's magnetic alphabet ... doesn't have quite the same impact !

Half Mum Half Biscuit said...

Loved your postcards! Will think up some of my own...Dear sunshine, please stay long enough to dry the washing, would be one. Dear Self, do come out of the blogosphere and apply yourself to the things you said you'd do today, would be another!

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Love the postcards! Thanks for popping over to mine and your great comment.

Kathleen said...

This post is absolutely delightful! I sure wish I'd had the opportunity to blog when my urchins were little! Must be very therapeutic. Thank you so much for visiting my little blog on the prairie. I hope you'll stop by again sometime!

Cheers!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

MAM - great plan, think I shall try that too. Although we don't have a dishwasher (curses, double curses and wailing) I'm sure those alphabet things could remind him of all sorts of things!

HMHB - know the postcard to self well!

HT - your photos were too good not to come

Kathleen - it was very theraputic, think I might do another one but aimed at the Bosnians. You should check out Kat for her Dear So and So posts.