The other weekend we spent a very pleasant afternoon in the company of a Happy Machine (a Bosnian still for making plum brandy for the uninitiated amongst you). It was rather late in the year as everyone felt a little guilty about making very strong alcohol during Ramadan, but no one seemed to be having too much guilt about drinking large quantities of the stuff immediately afterwards.
The men sat around stirring the plums, sterilizing the machine, bringing it all to the boil, watching it condense down, measuring the alcohol content with a whizzy little gadget that floats in the liquor and tasting it all to make sure it was all ok. We could see which the most important aspect of the process was judging by the amount of time spent tasting the output. The rest of us ate large quantities of food, the kids ran riot outside and life was good.
This brewing of the sljiva is an integral part of Bosnian culture (Muslims many of them may be, teetotal Muslims they are not). It is one of the autumnal rituals. The rumours that are running rife that the EU would ban the Happy Machines (bah humbug to the miserable fun stealing Brussels bureaucrats) are seriously testing Bosnians desire to join the Europe. I think most sane countries have banned the stills years ago, but this doesn't appear to deter the Bosnians. Apparently those who have emigrated to other European countries still manage to get their fix, just making sure the brewing happens indoors behind drawn curtains.
Dave loves this part of being in Bosnia. He looks forward to a Happy Machine afternoon, even though he doesn't really like the end result. I hadn't really paid much attention to this interest, right up the point I discovered him in the supermarket supposedly shopping for milk and cheese gazing covetously at and seriously considering buying a brand new still. A snip at only 2,400KM (1,200Euros).
Happily we remain Happy Machine-less after some fast talking on my part and a reality check on the state of our bank account on his. May we go to many more afternoons where the brandy is brewed, but I'm not Bosnian enough to want it happening in my garage.
******************
If you've had enough sljiva and are feeling brave enough, then make straight for the brilliant Hot Cross Mum's Halloween Best of British Mummy Blogging Carnival
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Monday, 26 October 2009
Bosnia, back in the spotlight.
Today is supposed to mark the start of the trial of Radovan Karadzic, accused of 11 counts of genocide, war crimes and crimes against humanity. Undoubtedly there will be twists and turns, Karadzic will be playing the International Criminal Court for all he is worth. He is unlikely to turn up, will refuse to recognise the courts jurisdiction, will claim he hasn't had enough time to prepare his defence and will be doing all in his power to discredit the court and drag the trial out indeterminably.
I will write a post at some point talking about the trial and how people feel about it here. It is, as you can imagine, a contentious issue. Some people passionately feel that the trial is needed; to establish what happened, to create a legally recognised truth that can't be twisted by every side to suit its own agendas. Others feel that it is important that those responsible for creating the events of the 1992-95 conflict are held to account, made to take responsibility for their actions. On the other hand there are some who would rather that the events of the war were placed firmly in the past, and who wonder if whether another trial highlighting Srebrenica and the siege of Sarajevo serves to keep Bosnia firmly orientated towards its conflict years, preventing them from looking towards the future. Of course there are also those who vehemently protest against the proceedings, claiming them to be unfair and illegitimate.
But the start of the trial, coming as it does as the various political Bosnian leaders are trying (or not trying so much) to establish how the country can move forward out of the political molasses pit that they seem to have found themselves in, will put Bosnia back onto the global news agenda. Whilst most people here think that the articles in The Telegraph and Time Magazine claiming that Bosnia is once again on the brink of war, to be an exaggeration of the situation and a strategic move by the internatinal community to put pressure upon the Bosnian politicians, there is definitely a sense that this is a crucial moment in post war Bosnia. Suddenly people who usually ignore the political shenanigans are talking about it. There are rumours about some people rearming themselves (but then again, there are always rumours about people rearming themselves).
These next couple of months will be interesting times for Bosnia. And now I am starting to understand why it is that the Chinese saying 'may you live in interesting times' is understood to be a curse.
I will write a post at some point talking about the trial and how people feel about it here. It is, as you can imagine, a contentious issue. Some people passionately feel that the trial is needed; to establish what happened, to create a legally recognised truth that can't be twisted by every side to suit its own agendas. Others feel that it is important that those responsible for creating the events of the 1992-95 conflict are held to account, made to take responsibility for their actions. On the other hand there are some who would rather that the events of the war were placed firmly in the past, and who wonder if whether another trial highlighting Srebrenica and the siege of Sarajevo serves to keep Bosnia firmly orientated towards its conflict years, preventing them from looking towards the future. Of course there are also those who vehemently protest against the proceedings, claiming them to be unfair and illegitimate.
But the start of the trial, coming as it does as the various political Bosnian leaders are trying (or not trying so much) to establish how the country can move forward out of the political molasses pit that they seem to have found themselves in, will put Bosnia back onto the global news agenda. Whilst most people here think that the articles in The Telegraph and Time Magazine claiming that Bosnia is once again on the brink of war, to be an exaggeration of the situation and a strategic move by the internatinal community to put pressure upon the Bosnian politicians, there is definitely a sense that this is a crucial moment in post war Bosnia. Suddenly people who usually ignore the political shenanigans are talking about it. There are rumours about some people rearming themselves (but then again, there are always rumours about people rearming themselves).
These next couple of months will be interesting times for Bosnia. And now I am starting to understand why it is that the Chinese saying 'may you live in interesting times' is understood to be a curse.
Friday, 23 October 2009
24 Hours: Tuzla
A new guide book for London is coming out in the next few weeks, showing ideas for stuff to do for each hour. Called 24 Hours: London - an insiders guide to London's Best Kept Secrets, the idea is that it will give you ideas for things to do at a given hour. So, 4pm tea at the Ritz, 10pm dancing stupidly outside a nightclub in South Kensington, 2am hunting for food down the Fulham Rd. That sort of thing.
The idea got picked up by Mike from Postcards Across the Pond, who wrote his own personal 24 hour guide for Horsham. Horsham wasn't quite as busy as London, but there was a lot to do if you are out and about in Horsham, as long as it involves pubs or parks.
So I thought I'd give this a go. Noone writes guide books for Tuzla. Even the official Bosnia guide book says, somewhat diplomatically, that this area isn't really set up for tourism. So, here we go, the 24 hour guide for Tuzla. (readers who know Tuzla, feel free to point out which amazing Tuzla experiences I've missed in the comments section)
5am: All quiet, except the yowling of the stray dogs. Stay in bed and put duvet over head to try and drown out the sound.
6am: At some point during this hour the early morning call to prayer will go off. People start to get up, but I advise remaining in bed with duvet over head.
7am: Everyone up and about and off to work. Many people haven't had any coffee yet, so strongly advise not making contact with anyone until they have had their caffeine hit.
8am: Office hours start at 8am. Things start to open. Pop into a bakers to pick up some pastries, chocolate and jam are widely available. The bread is also freshly baked and excellent.
9am: Venture out into town. Pop into a cafe to plan your day. Coffee, in the form of espresso will be available wherever you are. If you are feeling braver ask for a kafa domaci, which is like a Turkish coffee, complete with turbo fuelled sludge at the bottom. Drink it black and very sweet.
10am: Remember that you have some outstanding bureaucratic issues to deal with. You are in Bosnia after all and your stay is not complete if you do not do battle with bureaucracy somewhere. Find appropriate ministry and enter. Leave shortly afterwards as everyone is on a 'pauza' and having coffee.
11am: Head for a stroll in the centre of town. The new square, trg sloboda (Freedom Square) is a very pleasant place to sit by the fountain under the tree and watch the town pass by. If you are lucky you may see a wedding spilling out of the registry office, with all the brass bands, photo sessions and throwing of money before the drama moves on elsewhere. Then, move along past the cafes and down the pedestrainised Korzo.
12pm: Attempt to complete bureaucratic procedure. Everyone now having lunch. Go to the market instead and browse all sorts of things from mobile phone covers to jeans to fruit and honey.
1pm: Lunch. Should the weather be agreeable do find a restaurant which allows you to sit outside. The restaurant Krcma, near Trg Sloboda is a great place. Cheap and quick, but serves good food whilst sitting outside on wooden benches. It is all pedestrianised to small children can run rampant outside without causing too much trouble. Although do try to prevent them running into the nearby mosque (which is beautiful) as this is not a good thing.
2pm: Head out to the park Slana Banja on the north side of town. The new playground is now open, but muddy. The park itself has some great views over the town as well as some good clay tennis courts.
3pm: Wander down to the Pannonika Lakes (newly built salt water lakes) for a swim. If you are here during winter these will be shut, but they may have erected an ice skating rink and trampolines instead.
4pm: Head up to the park of Ilincica up on the hills to the south of the city. Here the woods have a certain mystical quality to them, but beware the epic amounts of rubbish that blight this beautiful place.
5pm: It has been at least 3 hours since you had coffee. How are you still standing? Find a cafe, any cafe and reinject yourself with caffiene. A good one to go to is the one by the pedestrian bridge over the river/sludge fest ditch which also serves good cakes.
6pm: Take a pause. Everyone else will be.
7pm: Get ready to go out. The look in this town is all about glamour. Your heels must be high, your hair sorted, your make-up on (and boys, you need to look good too).
8pm: Join the crowds strolling along the Korzo. Stop off at a cafe there for a pre-dinner drink and watch and be watched.
9pm: Decide what sort of food you are after. If it is traditional Bosnian then I'd recommend the Biblioteka restaurant otherwise think pizza and join the debate on whether it is Heartland or Dalma who make the best pizzas in town.
10pm: Head down to see if they have any live music in the Salt Square and linger. Lingering is a national pastime. Don't be afraid to nurse a drink for hours.
11pm: Head to the cafes just off the Korzo or to Cafe Sydney near the National Theatre. Alternatively buy yourself something to drink and join the youth of the city by the Jala (river/sludge fest mentioned earlier).
12am: Wonder where to go next. Walk around a lot trying to get in contact with other people in Tuzla. Eventually decide to go to The Underground. It will be packed, loud and the music a mix of Bosnian and English language covers. There will be lots of cigarette smoking. There will be lots of beer. There will be lots of singing along badly to the music. It's fun. Recommended.
1am: Try out Jazz for a smaller, more intimate venue, which is also in a cellar, with live (usually acoustic) music, chain smokers and lots of beer.
2am: This is Tuzla, everything shuts now unless you know someone who knows someone.
3am: Head home. Watch Turbo folk on TV and drink beer and plum brandy.
4am: You are still awake? How? More Turbofolk, beer and sljiva. Now go to sleep. You have more coffee to drink tomorrow.
Anyone else fancy giving it their hometown a 24 Guide makeover? Take up the meme, and make sure you let Marsha (the author of the original book) know as she is putting together a list of these guides.
The idea got picked up by Mike from Postcards Across the Pond, who wrote his own personal 24 hour guide for Horsham. Horsham wasn't quite as busy as London, but there was a lot to do if you are out and about in Horsham, as long as it involves pubs or parks.
So I thought I'd give this a go. Noone writes guide books for Tuzla. Even the official Bosnia guide book says, somewhat diplomatically, that this area isn't really set up for tourism. So, here we go, the 24 hour guide for Tuzla. (readers who know Tuzla, feel free to point out which amazing Tuzla experiences I've missed in the comments section)
5am: All quiet, except the yowling of the stray dogs. Stay in bed and put duvet over head to try and drown out the sound.
6am: At some point during this hour the early morning call to prayer will go off. People start to get up, but I advise remaining in bed with duvet over head.
7am: Everyone up and about and off to work. Many people haven't had any coffee yet, so strongly advise not making contact with anyone until they have had their caffeine hit.
8am: Office hours start at 8am. Things start to open. Pop into a bakers to pick up some pastries, chocolate and jam are widely available. The bread is also freshly baked and excellent.
9am: Venture out into town. Pop into a cafe to plan your day. Coffee, in the form of espresso will be available wherever you are. If you are feeling braver ask for a kafa domaci, which is like a Turkish coffee, complete with turbo fuelled sludge at the bottom. Drink it black and very sweet.
10am: Remember that you have some outstanding bureaucratic issues to deal with. You are in Bosnia after all and your stay is not complete if you do not do battle with bureaucracy somewhere. Find appropriate ministry and enter. Leave shortly afterwards as everyone is on a 'pauza' and having coffee.
11am: Head for a stroll in the centre of town. The new square, trg sloboda (Freedom Square) is a very pleasant place to sit by the fountain under the tree and watch the town pass by. If you are lucky you may see a wedding spilling out of the registry office, with all the brass bands, photo sessions and throwing of money before the drama moves on elsewhere. Then, move along past the cafes and down the pedestrainised Korzo.
12pm: Attempt to complete bureaucratic procedure. Everyone now having lunch. Go to the market instead and browse all sorts of things from mobile phone covers to jeans to fruit and honey.
1pm: Lunch. Should the weather be agreeable do find a restaurant which allows you to sit outside. The restaurant Krcma, near Trg Sloboda is a great place. Cheap and quick, but serves good food whilst sitting outside on wooden benches. It is all pedestrianised to small children can run rampant outside without causing too much trouble. Although do try to prevent them running into the nearby mosque (which is beautiful) as this is not a good thing.
2pm: Head out to the park Slana Banja on the north side of town. The new playground is now open, but muddy. The park itself has some great views over the town as well as some good clay tennis courts.
3pm: Wander down to the Pannonika Lakes (newly built salt water lakes) for a swim. If you are here during winter these will be shut, but they may have erected an ice skating rink and trampolines instead.
4pm: Head up to the park of Ilincica up on the hills to the south of the city. Here the woods have a certain mystical quality to them, but beware the epic amounts of rubbish that blight this beautiful place.
5pm: It has been at least 3 hours since you had coffee. How are you still standing? Find a cafe, any cafe and reinject yourself with caffiene. A good one to go to is the one by the pedestrian bridge over the river/sludge fest ditch which also serves good cakes.
6pm: Take a pause. Everyone else will be.
7pm: Get ready to go out. The look in this town is all about glamour. Your heels must be high, your hair sorted, your make-up on (and boys, you need to look good too).
8pm: Join the crowds strolling along the Korzo. Stop off at a cafe there for a pre-dinner drink and watch and be watched.
9pm: Decide what sort of food you are after. If it is traditional Bosnian then I'd recommend the Biblioteka restaurant otherwise think pizza and join the debate on whether it is Heartland or Dalma who make the best pizzas in town.
10pm: Head down to see if they have any live music in the Salt Square and linger. Lingering is a national pastime. Don't be afraid to nurse a drink for hours.
11pm: Head to the cafes just off the Korzo or to Cafe Sydney near the National Theatre. Alternatively buy yourself something to drink and join the youth of the city by the Jala (river/sludge fest mentioned earlier).
12am: Wonder where to go next. Walk around a lot trying to get in contact with other people in Tuzla. Eventually decide to go to The Underground. It will be packed, loud and the music a mix of Bosnian and English language covers. There will be lots of cigarette smoking. There will be lots of beer. There will be lots of singing along badly to the music. It's fun. Recommended.
1am: Try out Jazz for a smaller, more intimate venue, which is also in a cellar, with live (usually acoustic) music, chain smokers and lots of beer.
2am: This is Tuzla, everything shuts now unless you know someone who knows someone.
3am: Head home. Watch Turbo folk on TV and drink beer and plum brandy.
4am: You are still awake? How? More Turbofolk, beer and sljiva. Now go to sleep. You have more coffee to drink tomorrow.
Anyone else fancy giving it their hometown a 24 Guide makeover? Take up the meme, and make sure you let Marsha (the author of the original book) know as she is putting together a list of these guides.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Car Karma
This morning, pre coffee (which may have been a key factor) I loaded the boys into the car to take them to nursery, reversed out of the drive and straight into a passing van.
The van driver (fortunately ever such a nice man) got out and inspected the impact. Not much damage done, a good old fashioned scrape down the side of the van and a right old prang to our bumper. We looked at each other and agreed it wasn't worth getting the police involved. This was a good thing, getting the police involved is a long and painful process that usually entails paying money somewhere. Van man called his boss who appeared shortly. We all looked. Stood around. Stroked our chins and sucked our teeth. The car repair place just up the road appeared. More standing around, more stroking of chins.
Then an offer. For friendship. 50 Euros and, as they say here, to je to (that is that).
Done. Handed over the cash and all off we all went on our merry way, me slightly feeling that I got off lightly.
Dave's take on the whole scenario was an example of how to receive the news that your wife has pranged the car.
He reminded me of the time when an American soldier in SFOR (the previous peace keeping force in Bosnia) driving that huge truck rolled back and hit the front of the Clio (our previous car when we were last living in Bosnia; its smallness indicating it was from the pre-children era). He gave us 100 Euro for the dent in the bonnet. We, not being in the least bit car proud, never got round to fixing it and the dent remained until we sold the car a couple of years later.
'So' said Dave 'the way I see it is that we are still 50 Euros up on the car karma front'.
The van driver (fortunately ever such a nice man) got out and inspected the impact. Not much damage done, a good old fashioned scrape down the side of the van and a right old prang to our bumper. We looked at each other and agreed it wasn't worth getting the police involved. This was a good thing, getting the police involved is a long and painful process that usually entails paying money somewhere. Van man called his boss who appeared shortly. We all looked. Stood around. Stroked our chins and sucked our teeth. The car repair place just up the road appeared. More standing around, more stroking of chins.
Then an offer. For friendship. 50 Euros and, as they say here, to je to (that is that).
Done. Handed over the cash and all off we all went on our merry way, me slightly feeling that I got off lightly.
Dave's take on the whole scenario was an example of how to receive the news that your wife has pranged the car.
He reminded me of the time when an American soldier in SFOR (the previous peace keeping force in Bosnia) driving that huge truck rolled back and hit the front of the Clio (our previous car when we were last living in Bosnia; its smallness indicating it was from the pre-children era). He gave us 100 Euro for the dent in the bonnet. We, not being in the least bit car proud, never got round to fixing it and the dent remained until we sold the car a couple of years later.
'So' said Dave 'the way I see it is that we are still 50 Euros up on the car karma front'.
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Is everything falling apart?
Enough already. I've been reading some of what the commentators have to say about Bosnia following the Daily Telegraph's article saying that Bosnia 'on brink of new civil war'. It seems that everyone is saying that Bosnia is about to fall apart. As I type there are big high level talks going on in Sarajevo where very important people are trying to get the politicians to agree to some small constitutional reforms. These are apparently not going very well (Bosnia's crucial talks hit a snag) and the only thing that everyone agrees on is that they are not going to adopt the reforms that are being suggested. Good to know it is possible to have everyone agreeing on something. The Bosnian Muslim leaders are predicting a return to violence within the year if things continue as they are. The Foreign Affairs magazine agrees, with headlines that proclaiming The Death of Dayton (the peace agreement that ended the conflict in 1995).
None of this makes for good reading. But as I read it, I can't help but feel that I am reading about somewhere else. It just doesn't seem quite possible that this country that is on the brink of collapse is the same country as the one that I am living in. People are going about the day to day life without too much worry. They are used to the posturing of politicians and the international community and see it as being another episode of political bang drumming and chest beating, making themselves look strong and powerful, particularly against the bullying of the international community. There isn't any talk of people stock piling goods (which did happen when Kosovo declared independence as people genuinely were worried about what the effects would be here). In fact, no one seems to be paying that much attention to the politicians at all.
Day to day life is carrying on. People are still tending their gardens, going out for a drink in cafes, buying music and listening to concerts, watching the football, doing all that, well, normal stuff. Stuff that everyone in Europe does. They moan about the economy (which is a mess) and the bureaucracy (don't start me on it) and talk about how cold it is for the time of year. It just doesn't feel like a country on the verge of conflict. I agree with the one positive article that I have seen about Bosnia from the European Stability Initiative, who point out that whilst Bosnia is a long way from perfect it has made enormous strides over the last couple of months. It seems that this wave of pessimism about Bosnia is becoming self perpetuating.
I can't see how Bosnia will return to war. There is no appetite for it all amongst the general population, who fully know how damaging it can be. I can't see how Serbia or Croatia would have the inclination to back it. That is not to say that there won't be violence, I think a flare up somewhere is a possibility, but to spread to full on conflict, I really don't think it will happen.
But I am reminded of a coffee I had not so long ago with a man who had recently returned to his home close to the Serbian border. We were sitting by the Drina river, enjoying a long afternoons sunset, with people swimming and canoeing beside us and fisherman just a little further upstream. It was pleasant, warm and the atmosphere was happy. He was talking about the war in 1992. 'You have no idea.' he said 'One day we were sitting here with our neighbours, drinking coffee just like we are today. The next day we were at war. We had no idea it was coming.'
None of this makes for good reading. But as I read it, I can't help but feel that I am reading about somewhere else. It just doesn't seem quite possible that this country that is on the brink of collapse is the same country as the one that I am living in. People are going about the day to day life without too much worry. They are used to the posturing of politicians and the international community and see it as being another episode of political bang drumming and chest beating, making themselves look strong and powerful, particularly against the bullying of the international community. There isn't any talk of people stock piling goods (which did happen when Kosovo declared independence as people genuinely were worried about what the effects would be here). In fact, no one seems to be paying that much attention to the politicians at all.
Day to day life is carrying on. People are still tending their gardens, going out for a drink in cafes, buying music and listening to concerts, watching the football, doing all that, well, normal stuff. Stuff that everyone in Europe does. They moan about the economy (which is a mess) and the bureaucracy (don't start me on it) and talk about how cold it is for the time of year. It just doesn't feel like a country on the verge of conflict. I agree with the one positive article that I have seen about Bosnia from the European Stability Initiative, who point out that whilst Bosnia is a long way from perfect it has made enormous strides over the last couple of months. It seems that this wave of pessimism about Bosnia is becoming self perpetuating.
I can't see how Bosnia will return to war. There is no appetite for it all amongst the general population, who fully know how damaging it can be. I can't see how Serbia or Croatia would have the inclination to back it. That is not to say that there won't be violence, I think a flare up somewhere is a possibility, but to spread to full on conflict, I really don't think it will happen.
But I am reminded of a coffee I had not so long ago with a man who had recently returned to his home close to the Serbian border. We were sitting by the Drina river, enjoying a long afternoons sunset, with people swimming and canoeing beside us and fisherman just a little further upstream. It was pleasant, warm and the atmosphere was happy. He was talking about the war in 1992. 'You have no idea.' he said 'One day we were sitting here with our neighbours, drinking coffee just like we are today. The next day we were at war. We had no idea it was coming.'
Monday, 19 October 2009
Things I have said to my husband*
The scene: Domestic bliss. I've just started cooking dinner, just popped down to the shops to pick up some onions and veg and am cutting chicken. The boys and their Daddy are upstairs splashing around in the bath. All is well with the world on a Sunday evening.
Cut to squawks and screams from upstairs. Mainly from the adult.
- everything alright darling?
- I can't hear you!
- No I can't come upstairs, I'm in the middle of cooking.
- Luke's done a poo?
- In the bath?
- what do you expect me to do about it? I'm in the middle of cooking.
- can't you just clean it up?
- are the boys out of the bath?
- yes, well done for wiping his bottom.
- it's still floating in the bath?
- ok, I didn't need to know that it was a sinker and not a floater.
- is it in one piece?
- what do you mean you want me to clean it up. I'm in the middle of cooking and I've got chicken all over my hands.
- why can't you clean it up?
- what's it worth?
- yes you can finish the cooking.
- and do the washing up.
- for a week.
- what do you mean you don't know how to clean up the poo?
- get a plastic bag and some bathroom cleaner.
- could you make more of a song and dance out of it?
- alright! I can't stand it any longer. I'll do it.
- yes you should put the boys pjs on. I'm in the bathroom cleaning up poo.
- and give them their milk.
- ok, everything is clean.
- yes I did scrub the bath.
- what do you mean the flannel was in the water?
- the toys were in the water too?
- why didn't you mention this before I came downstairs and started cooking again?
- washing up for a week.
- seriously.
*with thanks to Millenium Housewife, who pioneered the 'things I said to...' genre
Cut to squawks and screams from upstairs. Mainly from the adult.
- everything alright darling?
- I can't hear you!
- No I can't come upstairs, I'm in the middle of cooking.
- Luke's done a poo?
- In the bath?
- what do you expect me to do about it? I'm in the middle of cooking.
- can't you just clean it up?
- are the boys out of the bath?
- yes, well done for wiping his bottom.
- it's still floating in the bath?
- ok, I didn't need to know that it was a sinker and not a floater.
- is it in one piece?
- what do you mean you want me to clean it up. I'm in the middle of cooking and I've got chicken all over my hands.
- why can't you clean it up?
- what's it worth?
- yes you can finish the cooking.
- and do the washing up.
- for a week.
- what do you mean you don't know how to clean up the poo?
- get a plastic bag and some bathroom cleaner.
- could you make more of a song and dance out of it?
- alright! I can't stand it any longer. I'll do it.
- yes you should put the boys pjs on. I'm in the bathroom cleaning up poo.
- and give them their milk.
- ok, everything is clean.
- yes I did scrub the bath.
- what do you mean the flannel was in the water?
- the toys were in the water too?
- why didn't you mention this before I came downstairs and started cooking again?
- washing up for a week.
- seriously.
*with thanks to Millenium Housewife, who pioneered the 'things I said to...' genre
Friday, 16 October 2009
Wooden Weddings
Today is our wedding anniversary. Five years ago today (five years! already?) we stood up in front of friends and family and promised to love and honour each other for as long as we both shall live. Then we popped round the corner to the village hall and had a really cracking party, with lots of food (cottage pie and blackberry & apple crumble), plenty of drink and some really fabulously terrible dancing.
It was a classic English wedding. The weather was dreadful but it didn't matter. The traffic had grid locked and half the guests didn't make it to the church on time. There were scenes of people, in full wedding gear, sprinting down the road from the nearest tube station, a good 2 miles away. Others had to get changed in the graveyard, ducking behind the largest tombstone they could find. One American visitor at her first English wedding having surveyed the mayhem was heard to comment, 'this is brilliant, totally out of Four Weddings and a Funeral' and then proceeded to wander around looking for Hugh Grant for the rest of the evening. My brothers sang our first song (Van Morrison's Crazy Love for those interested) and they totally rocked. I was newly pregnant, but no one knew. No one that is except for the people Dave had gone out with 2 nights earlier and had told by mistake after a beer too many. We danced and danced, and laughed and ate and drank and my hair completely collapsed from its original elegance, but I couldn't have given a hoot. I was getting married to the love of my life (cliche, but true) and I could not have been happier.
Five years on here we are. 2 children, one dog and in Bosnia. We're so lucky. I'm as in love with Dave today as I was when we got married. He is my partner in life and adventures, and we have so much that we still want to do together. I still fancy him as much as I ever did and he still makes me laugh. Obviously, as with all married couples, we have our ups and downs. He is lucky that I find cold hands in bed funny and he could try to learn that there is no magic fairy that puts dirty clothes into the laundry basket. I could try to remember that he isn't my own personal on call IT helpdesk. That sort of thing. But in the big things, the things that actually matter we support each other. We have worked out how to sit down and talk to each other about problems that have arisen, the little scraps and scrapes ironing themselves out that way. Most importantly, we've got two lovely happy little boys and we feel that we are really enjoying our lives, doing what we want to do, trying out what we want to try and just giving things a go and seeing where they lead us. If the two boys learn one thing from us, I hope that it is that.
Bosnia is a special place for us. Just a few months after we started going out, I needed to come to Bosnia to do some research for a Masters Thesis. Almost flippantly (but secretly hopefully) I asked Dave if he wanted to come too. He handed in the notice on his apartment the very next day. The rest, as they say, is history. Six months later we got engaged in Sarajevo at an old Turkish fort which sits above the city, overlooking the valley in which Sarajevo is situated.
Still, I can't believe it has been five years since we got married. I looked it up and it is our Wood Anniversary today. Wish I could say that I've been whittling something special over the last few months, but blatantly I haven't. Wonder if a cardboard castle would count? We've arranged to go out tonight and we may not be able to resist the urge to celebrate in the traditional Bosnian fashion; putting white ribbons on the car, hanging flags out of the windows and driving round town beeping our horn. Where's that English flag gone?
It was a classic English wedding. The weather was dreadful but it didn't matter. The traffic had grid locked and half the guests didn't make it to the church on time. There were scenes of people, in full wedding gear, sprinting down the road from the nearest tube station, a good 2 miles away. Others had to get changed in the graveyard, ducking behind the largest tombstone they could find. One American visitor at her first English wedding having surveyed the mayhem was heard to comment, 'this is brilliant, totally out of Four Weddings and a Funeral' and then proceeded to wander around looking for Hugh Grant for the rest of the evening. My brothers sang our first song (Van Morrison's Crazy Love for those interested) and they totally rocked. I was newly pregnant, but no one knew. No one that is except for the people Dave had gone out with 2 nights earlier and had told by mistake after a beer too many. We danced and danced, and laughed and ate and drank and my hair completely collapsed from its original elegance, but I couldn't have given a hoot. I was getting married to the love of my life (cliche, but true) and I could not have been happier.
Five years on here we are. 2 children, one dog and in Bosnia. We're so lucky. I'm as in love with Dave today as I was when we got married. He is my partner in life and adventures, and we have so much that we still want to do together. I still fancy him as much as I ever did and he still makes me laugh. Obviously, as with all married couples, we have our ups and downs. He is lucky that I find cold hands in bed funny and he could try to learn that there is no magic fairy that puts dirty clothes into the laundry basket. I could try to remember that he isn't my own personal on call IT helpdesk. That sort of thing. But in the big things, the things that actually matter we support each other. We have worked out how to sit down and talk to each other about problems that have arisen, the little scraps and scrapes ironing themselves out that way. Most importantly, we've got two lovely happy little boys and we feel that we are really enjoying our lives, doing what we want to do, trying out what we want to try and just giving things a go and seeing where they lead us. If the two boys learn one thing from us, I hope that it is that.
Bosnia is a special place for us. Just a few months after we started going out, I needed to come to Bosnia to do some research for a Masters Thesis. Almost flippantly (but secretly hopefully) I asked Dave if he wanted to come too. He handed in the notice on his apartment the very next day. The rest, as they say, is history. Six months later we got engaged in Sarajevo at an old Turkish fort which sits above the city, overlooking the valley in which Sarajevo is situated.
Still, I can't believe it has been five years since we got married. I looked it up and it is our Wood Anniversary today. Wish I could say that I've been whittling something special over the last few months, but blatantly I haven't. Wonder if a cardboard castle would count? We've arranged to go out tonight and we may not be able to resist the urge to celebrate in the traditional Bosnian fashion; putting white ribbons on the car, hanging flags out of the windows and driving round town beeping our horn. Where's that English flag gone?
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