The scene: Domestic bliss. I've just started cooking dinner, just popped down to the shops to pick up some onions and veg and am cutting chicken. The boys and their Daddy are upstairs splashing around in the bath. All is well with the world on a Sunday evening.
Cut to squawks and screams from upstairs. Mainly from the adult.
- everything alright darling?
- I can't hear you!
- No I can't come upstairs, I'm in the middle of cooking.
- Luke's done a poo?
- In the bath?
- what do you expect me to do about it? I'm in the middle of cooking.
- can't you just clean it up?
- are the boys out of the bath?
- yes, well done for wiping his bottom.
- it's still floating in the bath?
- ok, I didn't need to know that it was a sinker and not a floater.
- is it in one piece?
- what do you mean you want me to clean it up. I'm in the middle of cooking and I've got chicken all over my hands.
- why can't you clean it up?
- what's it worth?
- yes you can finish the cooking.
- and do the washing up.
- for a week.
- what do you mean you don't know how to clean up the poo?
- get a plastic bag and some bathroom cleaner.
- could you make more of a song and dance out of it?
- alright! I can't stand it any longer. I'll do it.
- yes you should put the boys pjs on. I'm in the bathroom cleaning up poo.
- and give them their milk.
- ok, everything is clean.
- yes I did scrub the bath.
- what do you mean the flannel was in the water?
- the toys were in the water too?
- why didn't you mention this before I came downstairs and started cooking again?
- washing up for a week.
- seriously.
*with thanks to Millenium Housewife, who pioneered the 'things I said to...' genre
Showing posts with label domestic chaos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label domestic chaos. Show all posts
Monday, 19 October 2009
Monday, 6 July 2009
Driving me potty no longer
Attempts to potty train: 4. Successful attempts to potty train: ONE! And that one is the one that counts. Remarkably this last attempt was surprisingly easy, a fairly smooth transition to not wearing nappies, one or two accidents and that was it. He now asks for his potty or to do a ‘standing up wee Mummy’ (the joys of having an elder brother) and he hasn’t had an accident in over three weeks now.
The standing up wee aspect is interesting. Outside, when you can get their trousers down, stick a knee in his back to encourage the thrusting forward of hips and help with guidance of the pee stream it works well. Inside the house is a different story; he is just not quite tall enough to use the loos at home for a standing up wee, which means that I need to do an interesting lift and hover manoeuvre, doing wonders for my biceps but I can’t help with the pee stream guidance aspect of the process. But who cares? He isn’t in nappies and the wee ain’t in his pants.
The ease of this attempt of potty training makes me think two things. First, the attempts made before were just too early for him, he wasn’t quite ready. Secondly, these attempts were all part of the overall process and contributed to this, more recent and relatively stressfree attempt. I couldn't care less now though, Luke has done it, he is a total superstar and I’m so proud of him.
Only one interesting story to report. A few days ago he had a quiet moment on his potty, happily reading his book, so I left him to it. When he appeared there was strong evidence that he had done a poo. He was very pleased with himself. A bottom needed wiping. There were signs of a poo having been in the potty. But there was no poo. Anywhere. I looked high, I looked low but couldn’t find anything. I’ve been wandering through the house delicately sniffing any areas which might be capable of concealing poo. But nothing. Absolutely nista. Not a sniff.
The poo is still M.I.A. I will be doing a more thorough search before the cleaner comes but I don’t think I’ll locate anything. The dog was spotted, contentedly licking her lips just afterwards. I’m not saying anything, but it wouldn’t be the first time.
The standing up wee aspect is interesting. Outside, when you can get their trousers down, stick a knee in his back to encourage the thrusting forward of hips and help with guidance of the pee stream it works well. Inside the house is a different story; he is just not quite tall enough to use the loos at home for a standing up wee, which means that I need to do an interesting lift and hover manoeuvre, doing wonders for my biceps but I can’t help with the pee stream guidance aspect of the process. But who cares? He isn’t in nappies and the wee ain’t in his pants.
The ease of this attempt of potty training makes me think two things. First, the attempts made before were just too early for him, he wasn’t quite ready. Secondly, these attempts were all part of the overall process and contributed to this, more recent and relatively stressfree attempt. I couldn't care less now though, Luke has done it, he is a total superstar and I’m so proud of him.
Only one interesting story to report. A few days ago he had a quiet moment on his potty, happily reading his book, so I left him to it. When he appeared there was strong evidence that he had done a poo. He was very pleased with himself. A bottom needed wiping. There were signs of a poo having been in the potty. But there was no poo. Anywhere. I looked high, I looked low but couldn’t find anything. I’ve been wandering through the house delicately sniffing any areas which might be capable of concealing poo. But nothing. Absolutely nista. Not a sniff.
The poo is still M.I.A. I will be doing a more thorough search before the cleaner comes but I don’t think I’ll locate anything. The dog was spotted, contentedly licking her lips just afterwards. I’m not saying anything, but it wouldn’t be the first time.
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Disappointment
We have a cleaner. For the purposes of this post I shall call her Leijla. Leijla comes twice a week and does her best to restore the house from trashed to presentable. It is not an easy task, and nor does it last more than 10 minutes after the chaos creators reappear.
Leijla and I have developed quite a good relationship. We sit and have coffee every time she comes and we talk (in Bosnian) about stuff. She has a son who at 6 is just that little bit older than Adam and who goes to the same nursery. I quite often run into her there at pick up time and we always have a bit of a gossip as our children rush off to play on the slide. She has taken to passing on the clothes that her son has grown out of to Adam, refusing any payment for them (and there is some nice stuff there - Levis jeans and the like, barely worn). We've been over to her house and she has bought her son here. We've become friends really.
When she first started she would often ask for an advance in order to cover nursery fees or whatever. I had no problems giving her an advance, she also works for our landlord and I trusted her. She hasn't asked for an advance in a while so I thought that her husband had found work or something like that. I didn't like to enquire too closely.
As you have to pay for almost everything in cash in Bosnia, we tend to have a reasonable amount of cash in the house, particularly at this time of the month just before we pay all the bills. Yesterday we had 100KM (about £50) go missing. It wasn't the first time money has gone missing, but we put it down to forgetting to note that we had taken money out of the tin or something like that. We were getting suspicious, so were keeping closer tabs upon it, and yesterday morning we counted 900KM in the tin, in the evening there was only 800KM. I was in the house for most of the day and there was only one person who went upstairs near the tin during that time, Leijla.
I now don't know what to do. I don't know for sure that she took the money, but I'm about 80%. I know that she needs this job, as well as the one with our landlord. I certainly don't want to accuse her of something like theft without being positive. When I said that I had lost some money and had she seen it yesterday she said no.
Dave is furious. I'm not. I'm just sad. I don't have enough friends (especially friends with children who are occasionally around during the day) to blow this one out of the water. And I enjoy her company, our coffees, laughing about our children and her tips on what to do with kids in Tuzla. But if I think, as I do, that she has been taking money from us it will be very difficult to recreate that trust and intimacy.
I am so disappointed.
Leijla and I have developed quite a good relationship. We sit and have coffee every time she comes and we talk (in Bosnian) about stuff. She has a son who at 6 is just that little bit older than Adam and who goes to the same nursery. I quite often run into her there at pick up time and we always have a bit of a gossip as our children rush off to play on the slide. She has taken to passing on the clothes that her son has grown out of to Adam, refusing any payment for them (and there is some nice stuff there - Levis jeans and the like, barely worn). We've been over to her house and she has bought her son here. We've become friends really.
When she first started she would often ask for an advance in order to cover nursery fees or whatever. I had no problems giving her an advance, she also works for our landlord and I trusted her. She hasn't asked for an advance in a while so I thought that her husband had found work or something like that. I didn't like to enquire too closely.
As you have to pay for almost everything in cash in Bosnia, we tend to have a reasonable amount of cash in the house, particularly at this time of the month just before we pay all the bills. Yesterday we had 100KM (about £50) go missing. It wasn't the first time money has gone missing, but we put it down to forgetting to note that we had taken money out of the tin or something like that. We were getting suspicious, so were keeping closer tabs upon it, and yesterday morning we counted 900KM in the tin, in the evening there was only 800KM. I was in the house for most of the day and there was only one person who went upstairs near the tin during that time, Leijla.
I now don't know what to do. I don't know for sure that she took the money, but I'm about 80%. I know that she needs this job, as well as the one with our landlord. I certainly don't want to accuse her of something like theft without being positive. When I said that I had lost some money and had she seen it yesterday she said no.
Dave is furious. I'm not. I'm just sad. I don't have enough friends (especially friends with children who are occasionally around during the day) to blow this one out of the water. And I enjoy her company, our coffees, laughing about our children and her tips on what to do with kids in Tuzla. But if I think, as I do, that she has been taking money from us it will be very difficult to recreate that trust and intimacy.
I am so disappointed.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
nirvana.. or close to it
As I type, we are a picture of domestic bliss. One boy is sweeping. The other is following with a mop. If I can just keep this up for the next 18 years I (and any future daughters-in-law) will be laughing.
The realistic chances of it lasting for much more than the next 5 minutes are close to zero but I'm enjoying the dream.
So whilst I have 5 minutes, I'm going to add a link for the Best of British Mummy Bloggers Carnival which publishes the best posts from British Mummys every two weeks. This week it includes me (small cheers and a bit of a jig performed from a seated position). And then I'm going to go and read the other blogs (more cheers, more jigs and a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure that the mopping is still going strong, ah yes, they are now tackling behind the sofa, I'm training them well).
The realistic chances of it lasting for much more than the next 5 minutes are close to zero but I'm enjoying the dream.
So whilst I have 5 minutes, I'm going to add a link for the Best of British Mummy Bloggers Carnival which publishes the best posts from British Mummys every two weeks. This week it includes me (small cheers and a bit of a jig performed from a seated position). And then I'm going to go and read the other blogs (more cheers, more jigs and a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure that the mopping is still going strong, ah yes, they are now tackling behind the sofa, I'm training them well).
Thursday, 4 December 2008
peace, quiet and relaxation
It is lovely when people come to visit, particularly that they make the effort to leave the more obvious tourist trap of Sarajevo and venture up to the less tourist friendly city of Tuzla. We have had a lovely time with the Grandparents here; the boys loving the extra attention and showing off how to count in Bosnian, D seeing his parents and I got the opportunity for some extra babysitters which gave me alot more opportunity to get to the towns where I am doing research. D and I even went out for a quiet dinner a deux.
However, when the visitors go, and the house returns to normal, however great the visits have been, I do breathe a sigh of relief as the normal routine resumes. The laundry can once again be hung over the backs of doors to dry and the house can slide into its more usual pit of comfortable chaos.
However, when the visitors go, and the house returns to normal, however great the visits have been, I do breathe a sigh of relief as the normal routine resumes. The laundry can once again be hung over the backs of doors to dry and the house can slide into its more usual pit of comfortable chaos.
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