Friday, 16 October 2009

Wooden Weddings

Today is our wedding anniversary. Five years ago today (five years! already?) we stood up in front of friends and family and promised to love and honour each other for as long as we both shall live. Then we popped round the corner to the village hall and had a really cracking party, with lots of food (cottage pie and blackberry & apple crumble), plenty of drink and some really fabulously terrible dancing.

It was a classic English wedding. The weather was dreadful but it didn't matter. The traffic had grid locked and half the guests didn't make it to the church on time. There were scenes of people, in full wedding gear, sprinting down the road from the nearest tube station, a good 2 miles away. Others had to get changed in the graveyard, ducking behind the largest tombstone they could find. One American visitor at her first English wedding having surveyed the mayhem was heard to comment, 'this is brilliant, totally out of Four Weddings and a Funeral' and then proceeded to wander around looking for Hugh Grant for the rest of the evening. My brothers sang our first song (Van Morrison's Crazy Love for those interested) and they totally rocked. I was newly pregnant, but no one knew. No one that is except for the people Dave had gone out with 2 nights earlier and had told by mistake after a beer too many. We danced and danced, and laughed and ate and drank and my hair completely collapsed from its original elegance, but I couldn't have given a hoot. I was getting married to the love of my life (cliche, but true) and I could not have been happier.

Five years on here we are. 2 children, one dog and in Bosnia. We're so lucky. I'm as in love with Dave today as I was when we got married. He is my partner in life and adventures, and we have so much that we still want to do together. I still fancy him as much as I ever did and he still makes me laugh. Obviously, as with all married couples, we have our ups and downs. He is lucky that I find cold hands in bed funny and he could try to learn that there is no magic fairy that puts dirty clothes into the laundry basket. I could try to remember that he isn't my own personal on call IT helpdesk. That sort of thing. But in the big things, the things that actually matter we support each other. We have worked out how to sit down and talk to each other about problems that have arisen, the little scraps and scrapes ironing themselves out that way. Most importantly, we've got two lovely happy little boys and we feel that we are really enjoying our lives, doing what we want to do, trying out what we want to try and just giving things a go and seeing where they lead us. If the two boys learn one thing from us, I hope that it is that.

Bosnia is a special place for us. Just a few months after we started going out, I needed to come to Bosnia to do some research for a Masters Thesis. Almost flippantly (but secretly hopefully) I asked Dave if he wanted to come too. He handed in the notice on his apartment the very next day. The rest, as they say, is history. Six months later we got engaged in Sarajevo at an old Turkish fort which sits above the city, overlooking the valley in which Sarajevo is situated.

Still, I can't believe it has been five years since we got married. I looked it up and it is our Wood Anniversary today. Wish I could say that I've been whittling something special over the last few months, but blatantly I haven't. Wonder if a cardboard castle would count? We've arranged to go out tonight and we may not be able to resist the urge to celebrate in the traditional Bosnian fashion; putting white ribbons on the car, hanging flags out of the windows and driving round town beeping our horn. Where's that English flag gone?

25 comments:

Caz said...

Wow - 5 years ago.....what a fabulous day it was too - you and Dave looked so happy (and clearly still are!). And Cory and I illustrated the limitations of our athletic prowess running to church! Have a fab night tonight! X

Liz (LivingwithKids) said...

Wow, congratulations! (Love Van the Man btw, great song choice). I often think it doesn't matter how lavish the wedding is, what really matters is how in love you are when you say 'I do'. Sounds as though you two have true romance x

Linda said...

Please can you email me linda[at]passionatemedia.co.uk so I can help you with your article. x

Linda said...

Oh and massive congratulations, I could be nearing my 'wooden' engagement by the sound of things!

Kathryn said...

Congratulations - have a great night out!!!

TheMadHouse said...

Hope you have a great night. My wedding was the best day of my life. You wedding sounds wonderful. I believe that you have to keep working at marriage to make it work, complacency is terrible. It sounds like you two are working really well together and long may it continue

Kate Morris said...

Happy Anniversary. Would love to know what your husband now does in Bosnia.

We had our tenth in April and I can't remember what we did. I just asked my husband, and he said we went out to dinner, he thinks. Oh well.

Sounds really good to make a point of sitting down and listening. x

Mwa said...

Congratulations! And what a sweet story.

Oh, and what? Are husbands not personal on call IT helpdesks? Don't tell him you told me.

Muddling Along Mummy said...

Congratulations on 5 years of married life - it sounds like you deserve your night out (and the Bosnian celebration !)

Oh and aren't husbands personal IT help desks (mine has a IT help husband t-shirt now to make him feel better... has confused the neighbours !)

Teacher Mommy said...

Congratulations! That's wonderful. I truly hope there are many, many more.

Paradise Lost In Translation said...

Lovely description, & so nice to read a happy positive story of marriage. Congrats. Won't tell u ho wlong I've been married;o) Didn't realise your connection with the Balkans goes back further than this current jaunt. This is a first for us in this region, but it's growing on me. We both have our hearts in Sub-saharan Africa & thought if we lived abroad anywhere it wd be there. Hope it will be one day! Still it's all ben an adventure, Sri Lanka, Albania, who know shwere next? Idoscovered from Iota's latest post that you had yr babies in Oxford. SO did I, tho prob quite few yrs before u! Mine are now 9& 5!

WeDoAdventure said...

Congratulations. There must be some joke about seeing the wood from all the trees but I'm too tired to think of it right now!

Enjoy the night out. I'm get an early night for my early start tomorrow!

Rebel Mother said...

Ah, how lovely. Congratulations.

I've been married for 12 years and he is starting to get on my wick!

Might change him for another. Maybe.

Might be better off on my own!

Hope you have a great day.

RMxx

Maternal Tales said...

Oh congrats darling. And how wonderful that you feel the way you do. Here's to the next 5 and the 5 after... xx

Josie @Sleep is for the Weak said...

Congratulations!! Ooh your post made me feel all warm and gooey and want to go give my hubby a squeeze...

Here's to true love and a lifetime of happiness! xx

Nicola said...

Happy Anniversary. I love both of your attitudes to life and marriage. Wishing you many, many, many adventures ahead of you both. xxx

rosiescribble said...

Congratulations and well done! Enjoy the celebrations!

Kelly said...

Congratulations, I love the description of your wedding. I hope I am writing a similar post about me and Mr C in 4 years time. Enjoy your celebrations :)

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Caz - you were not the only ones running and can you believe it was 5 years ago?!

Liz - Van is the Man, no doubt about that.

Linda - have done, and thanks!

Kathryn - Thanks, we did.

MH - We had a great day and actually talked about having to work to make it work.

Kate - Dave writes software and sells it on the internet. His company now has one employee. Microsoft here we come!

Mwa - I know! I can't believe they object to one little phone call that says help help come home and fix it!

MAM - I think I need that T-shirt for a Christmas present. And congratulations on Baby No. 2!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

TM - thanks and me too!

Paradise - JR babies for us then. Adam is four so I was only a little behind you.

WDA - Good to see you in Tuzla. Thanks for dropping by!

RM - 12 years! That's impressive.

MT - hear hear to that!

Nicola - Thanks x

RS - we did, we did.

Kelly - I hope you do too. Thanks for the link from yours as well. x

Catharine Withenay said...

Ooh... slipping in a little late here, but congratulations! We are approaching 12 years, and every year seems another miracle. Fabulous, but miraculous.

Here's to many more!

Lorna Harris said...

Congratulations and what a great post. It did all sound very Four Weddings and a Funeral!

Sandy Calico said...

A belated Happy Anniversary. Lovely post x

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

CW - 12 years, congratulations! Here's to many many more.

LH - it was very 4 weddings. Hilarious.

SC - thanks!

Iota said...

Cold hands in bed would NOT be funny to me. Just as well I'm not you or the relationship might never have lasted 5 years.