Monday, 1 February 2010

Purgatory

I now have my answer for the question that all teenagers hurl at their parents at some point 'What did you ever do for me anyway?'

All last week Adam's nursery has foregone normal morning nursery activities and headed down to the ice rink that opens every winter in Tuzla's central park, Slana Banja. I wasn't sure how he would take to it, he's not a big into making a fool of himself, falling over or doing things that he doesn't already know how to do. Ice Skating ticks all of these boxes, I was not expecting a success. To my enormous surprise he loved it. Adored it. Couldn't wait to get back onto the rink. He harrassed, harangued and battered his beaten down mother over the head until I agreed that we could go en famille at the weekend.

So en famille we did. Outdoor gear on, skates on, a relatively small amount of money parted with (a massive 3KM (£1ish) per person) and we were off. Well, sort of off. More gripping onto the side of the rink in sheer terror (me) as I try to support Luke who is jumping up and down shouting 'wheeeee wheeeee' and then 'faster Mummy faster!' as Dave and Adam disappear gliding gracefully over the ice. Then we swap children, Adam grabs my hand and pulls me straight off balance.

It led to 20minutes of sheer purgatory for me. Holding up Luke who was clearly having the most wonderful time, as we tottered around, it was all I could do to pray I wasn't going to fall down squashing a small child and slicing off his fingers in the process. That position, the slightly hunched over incredibly uncomfortable one known to all mothers, is a killer on the old, not too good at the best of times, back. The cold toes, the crippling boots, the aching muscles, good Lord I hated every minute. The boys adored it, can't wait to do it again. Obviously, we will go again. But I will remember this, and when they ask me what did I ever do for them in that teenage-ery huffing pouting fashion, I'll be able to say - I took you ice skating.

21 comments:

TheMadHouse said...

I have donr it one nad never again, I hated it. Maxi loved it!!

momcat said...

Well done mom! From one mom to another. I would happily stay home all weekend most weekends but my boys had me out (in the heat) to the local swimming pool again this past weekend. Sometimes its good though that we've got the kids to pull us out of our shells and into action.

London City Mum said...

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

Cannot believe you had the gall to tell me you were unproductive this weekend! Hah! Beats me hands down.

LCM x

Sarah said...

Well I take my hat off to you.

I lasted all of ten minutes.

I'm. Done. Ice skating. With. Small. Breakable. Overexcited. Smallies.

Sparx said...

Oh man... I am the worst on a pair of skates and the panic about tiny fingers... not to be imagined... good on you though and great that they love it - is excellent exercise, bet they slept well!

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

My son hated it! YES!

Calif Lorna said...

Maybe in 20 years you'll remember it differently - 'remember when we all went ice skating in Bosnia and glided around the ice?'

Nothing like adding the feeling of complete and utter humiliation if you fall over during an activity. Adds to the fun!

Kate said...

My eldest insisted on having her birthday at the ice rink this year - well, there's not much to do in Bahrain in summer. I'm about as competent as you sound on the ice and had 6 nine year olds to contend with. Never again!

nappy valley girl said...

And that is why I haven't been skating with the boys yet! Even though they are desperate to try it.....

goonerjamie said...

Print this out, laminate it, and stick it in the middle of the fridge door. Then all you have to do is point to it every time they say those dreaded words.

Iota said...

It sounds so romantic and fun - in theory...

Footballers Knees said...

Very impressed, sounds much more exciting than painting the bathroom. Correction, watching Husband paint the bathroom!

Lady Mama said...

This - this is exactly why I loathe ice skating. Really. I dread the day I have to take the kids. Good for you for braving it!

Home Office Mum said...

I feel your pain. What you need to do is not say anything to your kids when they're teens. Wait till they have kids of their own. Then suggest they do it as a great family day out. Then sit on the side and smirk.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

MH - I'm hoping never again. Really I am desperately hoping, but as the ice rink is very close, I can't see me getting away with it!

Momcat - I remember heat. I like heat very much. Can't wait for swimming to come back on the agenda.

LCM - 20 mins of purgatory doesn't count as a productive weekend! You, on the other hand, were supermum!

Sarah - I want to be done. I really do. I don't want to have to do it again.

Sparx - they did. But I'm not sure my stress levels can take it again.

Trish - Envious. Very very envious!

CalifLorna - undoubtedly. Our family mantra when we get ourselves into less than fun situations is to say through gritted teeth - think of the stories... think of the stories...

Kate - SIX! Never ever again. I'm impressed!

NVG - don't do it. They will love it. If you don't take my advice and do it, I'm with you every agonising slip of the way.

GJ - GREAT plan. Love it.

Iota - when the possibility of actually having to do it again has passed (ie we get to spring) I will romanticise it. Right now I'm just terrified they are going to make me get on the ice again.

FK - Good husband. Good husband.

LM - Loathe is too light a word for it. And I am not that bad on the ice either, just with the kids it was awful.

HOM - That is a brilliant plan. I strongly suspect my mother is following a similar plan of her own!

Nicola said...

Love this. I took the boys skating last year - I have never laughed so much in my life. It was like trying to hold up two bambi's on ice. Their feet were every which way but underneath them. But I can't say I am keen to go again because it was absolute murder to try to keep everyone upright and my back was out for weeks afterwards. Mind you, after this post...I must admit I am tempted.

Mwa said...

You deserve to be taken into their house when you're old now.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Nicola - really? You are volunteering to do it again. I hated it. Loved how much they loved it but HATED it myself. Would much rather they went with someone else and I could watch quietly enjoying their enjoyment from a distance. Love the description of the Bambi legs though, spot on!

Mwa - I'm planning my revenge for when they are older. Really I am. It occupies my mind. At the moment haven't got much further than enjoying waking them up in their teenage years, revenge for all those earlier sleepless nights but I will come up with something. AT the moment I'm loving Home Office Mums suggestion of waiting until they have kids.

Tattie Weasle said...

The things we do eh? I loved this and will now have to go and actually DO something with my two just so I won't get caught outin years to come!

muummmmeeeeee...... said...

God I hated it too - the only pleasurable bit was limping off the rink and removing the skates! You've done it once and that's enough for any mother...

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

TW - I think I have to go again today. I'm sobbing into my tea at the thought.

Muummmmeeeeee - exactly. Bring on spring and the melting of the ice rink is what I say!