Dear So and So: Bosnian edition, part IX

Oh, I have a few things to take aim at today. My pencil is sharp and I am ready to go!

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Dear Bosnian Visa Authorities,

We can't renew the registration of our car until we have our visas. Which means that whilst our visa renewal application is STILL sitting in the pile of paper on your desk we can't use our car. This makes me housebound, tetchy and in the mood for a fight. Sort it out or I'm coming over to get rid of some pent up frustration.

Growl,
Fraught Mummy

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Dear Bosnian Car Authorities,

Please tell me that you are joking. Every car has to have a new set of licence plates (often with a new number) every year? Has anyone ever spoken to you about efficiency, conservation, general use of common sense?

Yours, still not knowing how to take a licence plate off our car because we've never had to do it before,
FM

PS - we have to start the process of exporting the car in March. Any chance we could have it imported before then otherwise we are all going to tie ourselves into terrible knots.

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Dear Bosnian branch of a fairly major European bank,

Surely supplying bank guarantees is part and parcel of your day to day operations? Isn't that what banks do? And even if it isn't, why is it that you can't supply one for 2 weeks just because the manager has gone on holiday? Ever heard of picking up the phone to ask someone else how to do it?

Gah!
FM

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Dear Nursery,

I don't really approve of how much TV the children watch during their time there, but I do see that you use it constructively so I'm not really complaining. I didn't really approve of you asking everyone to contribute 20KM towards the cost of the TV and DVD player. But all that pales into insignificance compared to how gob smacked I am that said TV and DVD player has disappeared, rumoured by the other mothers to have been taken by the head of the nursery.

Yours, wondering why you don't use your own salary to buy your own TVs,
FM

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Dear parents of the Roma kids begging at traffic lights,

I don't have a problem with the way in which you choose to live your life. If you want to stand outside in freezing temperatures hoping for 1KM from the odd car, that is your choice. I do however have a problem with the fact that you children are also hanging out at the traffic lights during times when they should be at school. Give your children an education, then allow them to make a decision what they want to do with their lives.

FM

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Dear Boys,

Temperatures. Coughs. It's the first illness we've had in months and you are being pretty brave about it. If we could just fight a little less about who is going to play with the pirate ship that would be tops.

Yours, administering to your fevered brows,
FM xx

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Dear Jess,

We don't have a car, so we can't drive to any of the places we usually walk you. We can't take you in a taxi either, so apologies but it is walks on the lead around here for the moment. I do appreciate this makes for a very boring life, trust me we are as keen to get the car back as you are. However, repeated break outs of the garden to go scavenging in the local bins are not welcome and also make you sick. Stop it, or you will be tied up 24/7 like all the other dogs round here.

Yours, in the hope of one day being a top dog in this household,
FM

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Dear Banja Luka,

I haven't been to visit for a couple of years and I had forgotten what a pleasant city you are. One question though. Your new government buildings, the ones big enough to house the entire state of Luxembourg and half the UN, seem a little, well, large for what you need them to do. I mean, how many government officials does one statelet need?

Yours, seeing that the ethos of bloated governance runs strong in the Republika Srpska as well as the Federation,
FM

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Dear playground,

Now that the snow has gone is there any chance you could open soon? The boys haven't seen a swing for months. And I'm fed up with them substituting our book cases for climbing frames.

In grateful thanks (and with just a modicum of begging)
FM

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Dear Little  Brother,

Your Radio 4 comedy show is GREAT. I'm ever so proud of you, again. Much as it pains me to admit it, you being a right royal pain in the proverbial and all that, but you are most talented.

Yours, knowing that there had to be an upside for all the irritants suffered earlier in life,
Big Sis.

PS - for anyone interested, the show is called Earls of the Court, is a 15 minute 'gentle comedy' about Australians in the UK. You can catch it here. And it isn't just me as the biased big sister who likes it, it's had good reviews too.


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