Monday, 23 November 2009

Coming Home

Given the topic of quite a few of my most recent posts, regular readers might be forgiven for thinking that this is going to be another post about football. But it isn't. It is about us. We have made a decision and we are going to go home. Back to the UK. Moving back for good. Our Bosnian adventure is coming to an end at some point this April.

There were so many reasons to stay and so many reasons to leave, too many to post about now. We will be ever so sad to go, but will also be excited to go back home too. I'm feeling quite conflicted about it all. Some days I'm thrilled, other days I think we are making a big mistake. The timing will be awful, we will have just struggled through another bitter Bosnian winter (the tough time to be here) and will be leaving just as summer appears, which is when Bosnia is at its most fun. I have every confidence that the British summer will once again be miserable, grey and full of rain and we will spend most of the summer watching the sun baked Tuzla weather forecasts and thinking, we should have been there - Swimming in the lakes, cooking BBQs, spending all day outside in the sunshine!. Some days I look around and think we've just started to really settle down here, we are enjoying ourselves and the adventure, so why are we moving now? Others I mutter darkly that the moving day can't come a day too soon.

I find it more than interesting that since we have decided to leave, I have started talking about England as home. Before the decision home meant here, Bosnia. If we talked about England then we called it England, Britain or the UK (but never that ghastly word 'Blighty' which I loathe with a passion usually reserved for those who don't pick up dog poo in playgrounds). Now we are going back, there has been a shift in how I feel about the place. Now I feel that we are going to go back home. I do hope that over the next 5 months this doesn't mean that I lose the sense of being at home in Bosnia.

43 comments:

Very Bored Housewife said...

Well I for one am envious, I would love us to pick up sticks and move back home (I do use the word Blighty!). What will you call your blog?

You'll probably just get your car officially imported the week before you move back as well....

xx

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

VBH - don't talk to me about the admin. I'm crying just thinking about it. The car is going to be the worst red tape nightmare of the lot....

London City Mum said...

FM - am v excited about thought of you returning to the UK, probably in selfish way as hopefully will be able to meet you in person - at last - and give you a proper (as opposed to virtual) hug!

As for dreary British summers, I would just add that is what makes going on holiday so much fun. I still maintain that you don't live in this country for the weather!

LCM x

Marsha Moore said...

Wow - big decision! Well, welcome home!

Alice said...

It's strange reading this post. When we made the decision to return 'home' from our road trip in July - it was a tough decision. However, we were not sure what we wanted to do, where we wanted to settle and - much to people's surprise - we missed England. However, 4 months in and the feet are starting to itch and the reality that we are always going to be 'explorers' is entering our dinner conversations. EEEKK! Oh no I scream inside!!! BUT what I have come to realise over the years is that nothing is forever. Whatever decisions you make - you can make another if it doesn't work out as planned. Life is an adventure and we don't always understand the twists and turns; but they're kind of fun ;-)

On the plus side - everyone moaned about the British weather (us included) and we have been back since mid July and I have to say - we have been blessed with amazing weather since! Many picnics, days at the beach and even now we have many days of blue crisp sky. Beautiful. I can't believe I was so ignorant to the beauty of England when I was so consumed with always going abroad.

As long as your decision is based on what feels real inside, then I don't think you can go wrong. So enjoy Bosnia, soak it up and look forward to coming home remembering that living does not have to mean doing the same thing forever :-)

(sorry for the rambling comment - it's just I often struggle with where I want to be so although our situations are different - I hope I understand a little!!!)

Catharine Withenay said...

I know this is a tough decision, but having made the decision to leave Zambia I felt much more at peace than when we were vacillating.

As for British summers, they have been miserable since we got back. Each year I think that it must be better next year (surely it can't be worse?) so summer 2010 must be going to be fantastic.

Or it could be that we've jinxed it for good and we'll never see the sun again!

Best wishes x

TheMadHouse said...

You can tell just from reading that post that it has been a tough decision to come to. Hopefully things will run smoothly for you

Rebel Mother said...

We did have two scorching weeks last summer.......but that was it!

Nothing lasts forever, it may be time to start a new chapter in life.

......I thought Blighty meant Brighton. Oh dear!

Love RMxx

Sarah said...

I remember the rip when I decided that I just couldn't stay any longer in Thailand. So many good reasons not to stay, so many bad reasons not to go. But it still felt like somebody was yanking a plaster off a hairy part of me.

Transition in the return can be harder initially. At least when you are transitioning to leave "home" you have all the excitement of the unknown to buoy you up. At the same time though, to know that you can relax into what you have left because it's not forever, just for now, can let you enjoy the oddities and idiosyncrasies for what they are instead of the niggles and irritations that they may have become when they were your longer term reality.

Do you have plans to pick up where you left off in the UK or are you starting again from scratch ?

I'm looking forward to the next five months AND "Brits post Bosnia", that return journey anf home coming is often more interesting than the outgoing one because that's when you find out how the experience changed you and your perspective.

WeDoAdventure said...

Glad to hear you've made your decision. I hope all the preparations go well for you.

You can always fly into Croatia for a spot of sea and sunshine if you need a Balkan fix after a couple of months of English weather!

Emily O said...

That must have been a big decision to reach. Maybe you could have your summer holiday in Bosnia next year? Looking forward to hearing about your plans for moving back and how you manage it. My Mum has just moved back home after living in France and there's a huge amount of red tape to get through yet. Oh well, life would be boring otherwise I guess!

Mwa said...

Big decision! Good for you. And now you will have lots of blog fodder planning the move! Win-win-win!
x

Dan said...

Brits in Britain?

Sarah said...

or Brits post Bosnia

nappy valley girl said...

It is indeed a big decision. Good luck!

Think of it as a whole new chapter, rather than something coming to an end....and who knows, Britain may get a scorching summer next year. Goodness knows it's due for one....

goonerjamie said...

Was going to post a comment wondering what you are going to change the blog name to, but see I have been beaten to that comment, damn. Good luck in surviving winter.

Lorna Harris said...

My goodness, that is a big decision. How great though that you have lots of time to say farewell to Bosnia and prepare for your move home.

Plus you'll never return to Bosnia as a tourist, always as a local.

siobhan said...

It's always difficult to leave a place where you've been happy. Even when you spend the whole time complaining about it, it suddenly seems like paradise once you know you're leaving. Me and my fellow ex-pats complain relentlessly about things here in Turkey, and we tend to view home through rose tinted glasses, 'of course this would never happy in England' etc..Well done on your decision. Be prepared for reverse culture shock.

Chanda said...

and leave all this??? *snort*
I wonder how long I will last??

cartside said...

Wow, that is a big decision. But the hardest part is making such bit decisions, the rest will fall into place. Hope the move will go smoothly and the red tape will be manageable.

Caz said...

Whoop whoop! It will be great to have you close again! X

Potty Mummy said...

Well done on making the decision and - so far - staying sane about it. From the safety of not having moved country yet, I would think that actually deciding to do so is one of the trickiest bits. After that it MUST get easier. Mustn't it????

Babies who brunch said...

That's always such a tough decision. I have always regretted not living longer in Tbilisi (we worked there post university) but coming back when we did - before, I hate to say it, a second bleak winter - made sense at the time, which is the best you can hope for, really.

Lady Mama said...

Sounds like the right option for you. I think you know instinctively when it's the right thing. And yes, the weather will suck, but at least you know what to expect!

ourprivateblog.wordpress.com said...

I've loved your posts from Bosnia - and will still do of course but....don't stop once you get back to Britain - I'm sure they will still be as informative and.....funny!!!

Felicia & Brandon said...

Gasp! I'm shocked! Good luck with everything involved in this new decision. Moving sucks.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

LCM - I'm looking forward to meeting all sorts of people when we get back - will be brilliant to catch up, even in a rainy summer.

MM - It is big indeed. Feeling a little wobbly about it today.

Alice - just emailed you. But thanks for the post. People often assume that you will be so excited to come back. I am, but I'm also a bit sad.

CW - Between us we will force the UK to have a nice summer this year. I do feel good for having the decision made. It was taken out of our hands a bit, but good to have some definites in our lives to plan around.

MH - Thanks. NOT looking forward to the packing and unpacking stage at all.

RM - Maybe Blighty does mean Brighton? And you are right. It is time for the next chapter. May it be somewhere that has a cinema next time!

Sarah - We are going back to our old house and picking up. I'm a bit worried about it, mainly for the feeling that we haven't moved on at all once we are back, but I'm interested to see how our perspectives have changed too.

WDA - We might come and harrass you in Mostar. Please keep blogging on Bosnia, I'll need updates of what it is like. PS - you read the latest Balkan Insight article on RS independence?

Emily O - Red Tape. We can beat it. I'm a red tape expert now.

Mwa - I have too much blog fodder to cope with now! The white suits man new pink shirt and shoes for one!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Dan, Sarah & Gooner Jamie: It is a question that is perplexing me now. I may have to run a competition to see what people can come up with.

NVG - the time is ready for a new chapter. It will be good. Just the admin of finishing off this one and starting the next one is a bit of a weight on my shoulders.

LH - Good to have time. I'm going to need it!

Siobhan - you're right. Suddenly not having a cinema and the quirks of the kitchen are all part of the story rather than being bloody annoying!

Chanda - Me too. I hope you manage to find a way to settle here happily. Have your cars arrived yet?

Cartside - you are right, it will fall into place. Just boring making it do that!

Caz - whoop whoop! Don't go to Sarajevo Uni now, that would be awful timing!

PM - It must. Surely. You go first.

BwB - Tblisi must have been amazing. But I know the feeling of facing a second bleak winter. She says, hunkering down into my chunky scarf.

LM - it is the right decision. We know it, so that does make it a bit easier.

Kathryn - Thanks! I will. You need to come up with a good name for me though.

F&B - Not looking forward to it!

Tattie Weasle said...

Huge changes indeed. Being an Army brat we moved all teh tiem just as we were getting settled too. Mum loathed it but nowadays we , as a family, have friends all over the world and it is fantatstic that we can visit any at a drop of a hat and know we are welcomed back more privildged than tourists but not familiar enough to be treated as anything but special!

Laruca said...

Hope we get ourselves organised before then and come see you in Tuzla!
We've got quite a bit left here - granted, we do have a cinema, although we couldn't get in to see 2012 the other day because of a massive power cut :)

Toni in Ithaca said...

Em: We aren't surprised, as you made noises about it last summer when we were in Tuzla. We're assuming the main reason is school for the boys? How about your research; got enough data? Have to say that Tuzla this year was better than 7 years ago. But, I still love home!

b said...

Can I recommend you a book called Diplomatic Baggage by Bridget Keegan? Maybe you've already read it. I reread it every time we have to move....

Dancing to Lambada said...

Aw damn, does that mean your Dear So and So Bosnian Versions will stop soon? I was really getting to enjoy those! haha :)

Owen said...

That's a real shame, just when I finally got round to getting back to visit your blog again. Is the bone-penetrating damp of summer/winter in the UK that much more appetising?

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

TW - you an army brat too? I think it leads to being unable to stay put for too long. Where's the next adventure going to be is what we are already asking!

Laruca - Do come and see us. We are actually going to Zagreb this weekend in order to go to a cinema.

Toni - Lots of reasons, but the school for Adam was a big one. Apparently too many children for his year so if we didn't come back in April we ran a very real risk of having him sent to a school miles away from our house. Research going well, plenty of data. I might send you a draft for a sanity check on what I've written on Bosnia if you would be interested? (I haven't actually written it yet, but in the future...)

b - sounds great. Am off to investigate it and recommend it to people for a possible Christmas present.

Dancing to Lambada - didn't realise you were a Bosnian Dear So and So fan. I'll keep them going until we leave! Any particular requests?

Owen - glad to see you back again. Don't talk about the damp. I'm miserable about that. But, it is pretty damp here in the autumn and winter too...

Dancing to Lambada said...

Yeah I've been reading them and they're hilarious!! And i find myself nodding in agreement while laughing and reading them. Nope no particular requests, just keep them coming :)

Kelly said...

Ohh, what a big decision. I will read your posts with interest. Which part of the UK (If that is not too nosy!)

The first post I read of yours was one of the red tape ones. I hope coming back is easier :)

dulwich divorcee said...

I think you'll love it back home. Definitely.

Sandy Calico said...

Sorry I'm so late getting here, rather behind with my Google Reader!
That's a massive decision and one that must have required a great deal of thought. I'm sure it will be the right move for your family x

Iota said...

I saw your comment on Paradise's blog, and came to yours to search through for a post I'd obviously missed. And here it is.

Oh gosh, well, I'll miss your insights into Bosnian life, but I can guess at some of the reasons you're returning. I wonder if it feels like a relief to have made a decision - had it been hanging over you for a while?

I hope it spurs you on to make the most of the next 5 months, to fit in all those things you've meant to do but not quite got around to yet.

Iota said...

I've just been browsing the people who have commented here. There are lots of names I know, but some I don't recognise at all. I feel like I've come to your farewell party (bit premature, I know), and have met some interesting new people.

Of course the great thing about the blogosphere is that you can take your friends with you when you move, so it's not a farewell party at all. We'll have to call it a transitioning party, or something like that.

And I like the suggestion of Brits in Britain.

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