The thing about winter

The temperatures are remaining pretty chilly here. The thermometer hasn’t got above freezing (or even close) for the last 2 weeks or so, and I dropped the boys off at nursery this morning in a fairly bracing -9C. For an English family who squawk when the thermometer touches 0C, this is pretty cold for us. Going outside requires that everyone is wearing a lot of clothes. Getting all the clothes on everyone takes some time, and has altered the pattern of our day.

Getting ready to go out in Winter

1. Tell everyone we are going outside and need to put lots of clothes on. Try to locate fleeces, waterproof dungarees, scarves,socks, gloves, jumpers, coats, hats, boots (x3 – each boy and me) so as to be ready for the marathon dressathon that lies ahead
2. Try to persuade everyone that they MUST do a wee, otherwise they will have a problem once their dungarees are on. No one pays any attention.
3. Try to catch one of them to start dressing them. Squeals of laughter and a new game starts as everyone charges around the house trying to avoid Mummy (who is starting to get a bit cross) chased by the dog who recognises the signs that a walk is imminent.
4. Catch one, who then crys. Forcibly put on socks, jumper and trousers. They complain they are too hot. Ignore and go after the second.
5. Catch the second who also starts crying. Get socks and jumper on but they wriggle off and start the ‘lets run away from Mummy’ game again.
6. I get crosser but decide to ignore everyone and get myself dressed, but then get very hot.
7. Catch the second one and finish getting them dressed. Tempers fraying left, right and centre.
8. Luke tells me he’s done a poo. Think about ignoring him, but he gets terrible nappy rash if left so investigate as far as waterproof dungarees will allow. Can’t see (or smell) anything, but this doesn’t mean there isn’t one there. All clothes come off for a proper nappy investigation. Nothing. All clothes go back on again
9. Adam has taken off his socks and trousers and is running around again.
10. I get cross and shout.
11. Luke tells me ‘there’s a poo in there’, smell confirms that there is. Curse that I missed the signals that he wanted to go and the opportunity to put him on the potty. Trousers etc off for the 3rd time. Nappy changed, all clothes back on again.
12. Still need to catch Adam to get him to put the rest of his clothes on. Luke opens the door, goes out in his socks and gets wet feet. Need to find more socks and put them on and put on boots. Luke walks around the house in his boots getting mud etc everywhere.
13. Finally get clothes onto Adam, including coat and boots.
14. Lost hats, scarves and gloves. Spend 10 minutes looking for them. Locate them by the front door where I thought they were but hadn’t spotted them as they were lying under a pile of dirty laundry taken out of the laundry basket by Luke when I was getting Adam’s clothes on.
15. Get my boots on, find my keys, get out of the house and lock up.
16. Back into house for all the things that i have forgotten.
17. Adam says he needs a wee. Get him to go outside and make wee patterns on the snow. Luke harasses him and the dog is also interested. Adam gets cross and throws a load of snow at Luke. Luke cries.
18. Understand why housewives got into taking valium in the 1950s. Wonder if it is such a bad thing. Realise I quite need a wee too, but can't face the logistics so head on out and hope for the best.

Time elapsed from starting the ‘Lets Go Out And Play In The Snow And Take Jessie For A Walk’ process: approx one hour. Has been up to 1hr 30mins.


Getting Ready to go out in the Summer

1. Check everyone is wearing their sandals
2. Lets go.

Time elapsed from starting the process: About 2 minutes.

Rock on Summer.