Kitchen Blues

There are many things that I will miss about Bosnia when we go, but one of the things that will not have me all dewy eyed with nostalgia will be our kitchen. Words cannot describe how much I hate our kitchen. Sometimes I go to bed cursing it.

I am of course massively spoilt. The kitchen is actually pretty big. There is a fridge the size of a small bathroom (thinking about it, I will miss the fridge. It is nice to have a big fridge). But, in common with a lot of Bosnian kitchens, there is no workspace. You think I'm exaggerating? Have a look at this. This is our entire kitchen and if I was any good at computers I'd draw you a nice arrow pointing out the vodka addled plums by the knives which have just been extracted from the plum vodka and ask for any ideas what to do with them. I digress, but any good ideas welcome in the comment box.


Things to note.

1. Look at the amount of workspace we have. Trust me, it is not very much.

2. There is no dishwasher. This fact in itself doesn't bother me any more. I'm so used to washing up that I actually am not even particularly bothered about having one any more. What does bother me is that there is nowhere to put the stuff that needs to be washed up. I mean obviously it goes in the sink, but once that is full it has to go on the (already tiny) workspace.

3. Hobs are electric. I hate electric hobs. Partly because I am a cook cook cook cookability kind of girl and love my gas hobs for the instant changes in heat, and partly because once you have used a hob it is on and HOT for quite a long time. You can't put pans on it. So you have to put them on the (really pretty tiny now as it is also covered with washing up) workspace.

4. I spend a lot of time whilst I am cooking dancing around with hot pots, sharp knives and muttering/growling that there is nowhere to put them down ANYWHERE! This isn't good for my sanity and doesn't make cooking an enjoyable experience.

5. I'm going to gloss over how close the electric points are to the sink (isn't this illegal and wildly dangerous?), how the drainage board plughole is actually blocked and therefore the water has nowhere to drain to and how the sink doesn't quite fit and therefore water spills everywhere whilst doing said washing up as, well, it is just me being narky and may be due to the fact that I went to bed last night still whinging over the kitchen.

So, obviously, although I'd have you believe that the kitchen looks like the above photo all the time, the reality is more like the picture below:


I'm so glad we are not ever going to have to attempt to cook a Christmas dinner on it. It is one of the world's great mysteries how Bosnian women manage to produce epic feasts at the drop of a hat and still have an immaculately clean kitchen at the end of it.

Of scooting, whinging and blogging

Apparently us 'Mummy Bloggers' have lots of influence. Obviously not in this house, where I have the influence of a sponge pudding, but online where our readers (all 3 of them, hello Mum) have come to know us, laugh with us and trust us. So if we endorse a product this, apparently, carries a lot of weight with our followers.

Now, I'm not so sure about all of this. I mean all 3 of my readers are probably just a tad bored of a lunchbreak and wanting a hopefully diverting moment reading about another cultural faux pas in a land far away. But, I was listed at No. 41 in the Top 100 British Parent Bloggers in July (thank you, thank you) which in theory means that someone is listening to what I'm saying. Obviously not in this household as noone listens to a word I say, but you lot, out there in the ether.

So, I'm going to take this opportunity to have a whinge. A whinge that I have perfected having been taking lessons from my 4 year old, and, trust me, that is a whinge worth having. And I am hopeful that the target of this whinge will pay attention.

When we were back in the UK in May we bought the boys some scooters. Luke, at 2 1/2 received the Mini Micro T Bar scooter which, if I can get the technology right should be pictured below.

I love this scooter. I kiss the ground on which this scooter wheels. Lukey loves this scooter. He, of the front row rugby prop forward frame, will extend his pudgy little toddler leg in a beautiful arabesque with a pointed toe as he glides around town. He flies along and he loves it. Words do not rate this scooter too highly. We all love it.

Adam was bought the Micro Lite scooter. This one is a 2 wheeler and chosen because it is light and easy to carry (vital for me, who usually ends up at some point carrying 2 scooters, holding onto a dog who is also trying to get into other peoples picnics and make sure both toddlers are moving forward in the same direction whilst having a conversation about the bathing habits of the bird just over there). It was also chosen because it was recommended to us by the store. So, the store put it together and Adam fell in love. He is great on the 2 wheeler. He effortlessly slaloms down the path, elegantly zipping past walkers and gliding serenely through the park. Yes, Adam loves his scooter.

We, however, do not. The nuts and bolts keep working lose and on several occasions have disappeared all together. Bear in mind that the official stockist store put it together. Also bear in mind that when the nut holding the handlebars to the bottom bit is gone the whole scooter can completely collapse at any moment. When we returned to the stockist and called the company that sells them, they replied that we hadn't put it together properly. The stockist said that she had. She also said that this was the 5th or so in the past couple of days that had come back with the same problem. We bought some more nuts and tried again. Same result. Nuts worked lose, scooter was an accident waiting to happen.

Eventually we got fed up and made our own solution to the problem which is working (I love the fact that Dave is good at DIY!). So we carried on, scooting, slaloming and enjoying ourselves. Next up, the handlebars and the wheels got out of synchronization. So when Adam had the handlebars pointing straight on, the scooter went left. We fixed it. It broke again. We fixed it, again it broke. We took it apart good and proper and used all manner of tricks to fix it again. So far it has held.

Now my complaint is that at £45 these scooters are not cheap. There are many similar out there that are a lot cheaper. So far we have owned it for 3 months and have had to fix it ourselves at least 6 times. The faults have been fairly serious and could have easily, so easily, led to a bad accident. But, when we call to say the thing is falling apart, I honestly expect the company involved to be a bit more constructive than 'you didn't put it together properly' particularly when so many others are having the same problem. So, whatever you do, buy the mini micro t-bar scooter, whatever else you do DO NOT buy the Micro Lite.

Whinge over. I'm not sure anyone is still listening. Ah well, did my best. Also did my best with the formatting of this post which has gone to pot once I put the images in. Sorry! I have been trying to sort it but am now bored and am off to do something more constructive than play around with blogger.