Literally. I'm back in Bosnia. The boys are staying with my Mum and I'm back in Tuzla thinking that the house is too quiet and what on earth am I going to do with all that time today.
We flew back on Tuesday. Drove through northeastern Bosnia playing our uniquely Bosnian car game - spot the bombed out house, with extra points for the mine signs. The road from Tuzla from Bijeljina is a good one for this game and as I'd spectacularly forgotten to put any toys or anything in the back of the car for the boys to play with on the 3 hour trip to Belgrade (had been thinking of the flight, forgot that the trip to the airport was also a fairly substantial length of time) we were getting desperate for car games to keep them amused. It was a lovely day, English summer like day. Warm, but not too hot. Gentle breeze. Lovely.
We had decided to fly back from Serbia. Unfortunately it was also the day that the Serbian Government had decided to debate the resolution condemning the events in Srebrenica which was also making the Serb border guards jumpy. We spent a long time at the border, making the final drive to the airport a race against time. Mild panic about missing the flight, always conducive to a stress free trip I feel.
Of course we made it, no problems. Of course the boys were perfectly behaved. It was actually a remarkably pleasant journey. We flew across Europe, looking down through the clear skies. We crossed the channel and started our descent into Heathrow, meeting the clouds on our way down. We landed and rain battered the windows.
Mummy? said Adam
Yes Darling?
Does it always rain in England?
Um, quite often, but they do have lots of playgrounds.
And so we were back.
Showing posts with label going home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label going home. Show all posts
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Monday, 29 March 2010
The home straight
Home. I fly the boys home tomorrow. There'll be playgrounds and Thai food. Lots of family. I'll be able to eavesdrop on conversations in the tube. I'll read the paper, and understand everything including which political party represents what and who the celebrities are*. I'll know what to expect when we pop round to someones house. They'll serve me tea with milk and not look like at me as if I've just stepped off a space ship.
Such an emotive word, home. It signifies so much; safety and security, comfort, acceptance. It is a place where you understand the culture and the culture understands you. It is where you have roots, where you don't have to think. It is like sliding on a well worn glove, it just fits perfectly, it is almost invisible.
Home is a difficult word for an expat. We avoided talking about England as home for a long time. We were living here, in Bosnia. It didn't make sense to refer to our Bosnian house as anything apart from home. But we are not 'at home' in Bosnia. We don't speak the language well enough, the culture isn't our culture, it isn't invisible around us, it doesn't live in our bones. We need to work at being at home in Bosnia. But whilst we were here that is what we did. We didn't want to constantly be looking back to another country. Bosnia and England are very different but we were living in Bosnia so we concentrated upon that. We loved it here. We made it our home as best we could.
Now we are going home though. Really going home. I can feel myself starting to relax already.
*that might not be true. I don't have a clue who any of the celebs are anymore. And what is this Glee thing that people keep talking about anyway?
Such an emotive word, home. It signifies so much; safety and security, comfort, acceptance. It is a place where you understand the culture and the culture understands you. It is where you have roots, where you don't have to think. It is like sliding on a well worn glove, it just fits perfectly, it is almost invisible.
Home is a difficult word for an expat. We avoided talking about England as home for a long time. We were living here, in Bosnia. It didn't make sense to refer to our Bosnian house as anything apart from home. But we are not 'at home' in Bosnia. We don't speak the language well enough, the culture isn't our culture, it isn't invisible around us, it doesn't live in our bones. We need to work at being at home in Bosnia. But whilst we were here that is what we did. We didn't want to constantly be looking back to another country. Bosnia and England are very different but we were living in Bosnia so we concentrated upon that. We loved it here. We made it our home as best we could.
Now we are going home though. Really going home. I can feel myself starting to relax already.
*that might not be true. I don't have a clue who any of the celebs are anymore. And what is this Glee thing that people keep talking about anyway?
Friday, 15 January 2010
Homeward Bound
Everything has changed now we've made the decision to move back to the UK. Having resisted talking about England as being home, we now talk endlessly about when we go home, being back at home, what it is like at home, what we miss about home. Just making the decision to leave has changed us, from being a part of the country, its cultures and people to being outsiders.
I'm not sure whether it is because of this but suddenly Bosnia is really starting to get on my nerves. Those little niggles of life that irritate are now really winding me up. The on-going bureaucracy and trips to various ministries, handing over the same piece of paper with ever increasing fees is driving us even more demented than usual. I'm sure that the UK has its own labyrinthine bureaucracy for those who aren't UK citizens, but we are so we don't have to experience it. I'm fed up with coming across lost, forlorn stray puppies and dogs all over town. The broken glass in the parks which is just perfect for shredding a dogs paw takes away an awful lot of the enjoyment of going for a walk. The idiots who dump rubbish, car loads of the stuff, in the woods and forests around Tuzla also spoil the afternoon (not to mention the damage that is being done to the environment which will have to be a whole other post). The lack of things to do with children indoors during the winter is stressing me, combined with the fact that the only decent playground in the whole city appears to be permanently shut, and is patrolled by a particularly jobsworth man who won't even let you sneak in to have a swing. Always having to always have large amounts of cash around, because that is usually the only way to pay for anything, whether it be rent, bills, nursery fees, everything is also feeling debilitating, I'd like just to pay by card please. When we arrived we were so positive about Bosnia, so full of enthusiasm for this vibrant country, but suddenly we're feeling ground down by it.
Obviously England is taking on an image of perfection which is going to be cruelly shattered the minute we get back. In the meantime, I am off to try and locate the bits of Bosnia that we love to jolt myself out of this fug of bah humbug and winter blues.
I'm not sure whether it is because of this but suddenly Bosnia is really starting to get on my nerves. Those little niggles of life that irritate are now really winding me up. The on-going bureaucracy and trips to various ministries, handing over the same piece of paper with ever increasing fees is driving us even more demented than usual. I'm sure that the UK has its own labyrinthine bureaucracy for those who aren't UK citizens, but we are so we don't have to experience it. I'm fed up with coming across lost, forlorn stray puppies and dogs all over town. The broken glass in the parks which is just perfect for shredding a dogs paw takes away an awful lot of the enjoyment of going for a walk. The idiots who dump rubbish, car loads of the stuff, in the woods and forests around Tuzla also spoil the afternoon (not to mention the damage that is being done to the environment which will have to be a whole other post). The lack of things to do with children indoors during the winter is stressing me, combined with the fact that the only decent playground in the whole city appears to be permanently shut, and is patrolled by a particularly jobsworth man who won't even let you sneak in to have a swing. Always having to always have large amounts of cash around, because that is usually the only way to pay for anything, whether it be rent, bills, nursery fees, everything is also feeling debilitating, I'd like just to pay by card please. When we arrived we were so positive about Bosnia, so full of enthusiasm for this vibrant country, but suddenly we're feeling ground down by it.
Obviously England is taking on an image of perfection which is going to be cruelly shattered the minute we get back. In the meantime, I am off to try and locate the bits of Bosnia that we love to jolt myself out of this fug of bah humbug and winter blues.
Monday, 23 November 2009
Coming Home
Given the topic of quite a few of my most recent posts, regular readers might be forgiven for thinking that this is going to be another post about football. But it isn't. It is about us. We have made a decision and we are going to go home. Back to the UK. Moving back for good. Our Bosnian adventure is coming to an end at some point this April.
There were so many reasons to stay and so many reasons to leave, too many to post about now. We will be ever so sad to go, but will also be excited to go back home too. I'm feeling quite conflicted about it all. Some days I'm thrilled, other days I think we are making a big mistake. The timing will be awful, we will have just struggled through another bitter Bosnian winter (the tough time to be here) and will be leaving just as summer appears, which is when Bosnia is at its most fun. I have every confidence that the British summer will once again be miserable, grey and full of rain and we will spend most of the summer watching the sun baked Tuzla weather forecasts and thinking, we should have been there - Swimming in the lakes, cooking BBQs, spending all day outside in the sunshine!. Some days I look around and think we've just started to really settle down here, we are enjoying ourselves and the adventure, so why are we moving now? Others I mutter darkly that the moving day can't come a day too soon.
I find it more than interesting that since we have decided to leave, I have started talking about England as home. Before the decision home meant here, Bosnia. If we talked about England then we called it England, Britain or the UK (but never that ghastly word 'Blighty' which I loathe with a passion usually reserved for those who don't pick up dog poo in playgrounds). Now we are going back, there has been a shift in how I feel about the place. Now I feel that we are going to go back home. I do hope that over the next 5 months this doesn't mean that I lose the sense of being at home in Bosnia.
There were so many reasons to stay and so many reasons to leave, too many to post about now. We will be ever so sad to go, but will also be excited to go back home too. I'm feeling quite conflicted about it all. Some days I'm thrilled, other days I think we are making a big mistake. The timing will be awful, we will have just struggled through another bitter Bosnian winter (the tough time to be here) and will be leaving just as summer appears, which is when Bosnia is at its most fun. I have every confidence that the British summer will once again be miserable, grey and full of rain and we will spend most of the summer watching the sun baked Tuzla weather forecasts and thinking, we should have been there - Swimming in the lakes, cooking BBQs, spending all day outside in the sunshine!. Some days I look around and think we've just started to really settle down here, we are enjoying ourselves and the adventure, so why are we moving now? Others I mutter darkly that the moving day can't come a day too soon.
I find it more than interesting that since we have decided to leave, I have started talking about England as home. Before the decision home meant here, Bosnia. If we talked about England then we called it England, Britain or the UK (but never that ghastly word 'Blighty' which I loathe with a passion usually reserved for those who don't pick up dog poo in playgrounds). Now we are going back, there has been a shift in how I feel about the place. Now I feel that we are going to go back home. I do hope that over the next 5 months this doesn't mean that I lose the sense of being at home in Bosnia.
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